College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized














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          Unusual dream. First, I’m in a church. Don’t know why I’m there because I never go to church any more– can’t recall the service except being there. The church is medium-large, seats maybe one thousand at most, seems fairly plain but not totally, has some familiar Christian embellishments.


          *(CHURCH, DON’T GO ANY MORE: Me: MomGod, I’m already stumped. Have no idea what this could mean – help!

          She: A Church is a meeting or gathering place of like-minded people or those who believe the same.


          CHRISTIAN EMBELLISHMENTS, FAMILIAR: This is your regular work where you teach or preach the things Jesus taught, the basic principles in all good religion including Jesus’ source, Buddhism.


I get the feeling that this describes three different audiences you have ON THE INTERNET. You’ve just been talking to the Lithuanian JOURNALIST who wants to do a story on you. You shared your LINKS with him – all the ways you reach people. This might be showing the different reactions different people have to your work.)*


          The scene changes. The entire church fills up with MEN—every seat taken, they are all around me, many close to me, all eagerly looking at the altar. Some of these men are handsome—they are all bathed – the entire church – in a dim grey/blue light, almost like a mist, a dreamy feeling. The unusual thing is their facial expressions of EAGERNESS, & also, they all seem GAY, even those who appear masculine, somehow I sense this is an all-gay audience. I ask one man what this is about, & he says,


          “It’s because of a BOOK.”


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          *(GAY MEN, ENTIRE CHURCH FILLED WITH THEM: The gay is not homos, it refers to happy, they are happy, in harmony or agreement about something.


          CHURCH FILLED, ALL SEATS TAKEN: This is a unanimous agreement. My feeling is this has to do with my You Tube videos. I get hundreds of comments, many new ones a day, of males infatuated with me–& there are huge numbers of hits. This shows them in a dreamy state, having fantasies. This is how men feel about me. {I never expected this as I am much older now, but for some reason they adore me.}*


          This audience disappears & a third one appears. Women are close to me, so close, they are practically taking up my space–& all the women are BLACK & it’s a religious meeting, camp meeting, revival, something like that. This is not dreamy like the men were – the vision is clear, sharp & colorful. The women are all wearing bright colors, hats. This is not all seats taken as the men’s deal was – only about a quarter of the seats are full, mostly crowded toward the front, it is a totally different feel.

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          But as they crowd into my space I decide to leave. I take my purse (thank God no one stole it) & some type of soft blue suede leather jacket, which I wrap around myself & then head out. I’m very respectful of God & on my way out I walk before the altar, from the area of the exit, I kneel in reverence. But somehow the women persuade me to stay longer – I do, but can’t recall anything else.


          *(THIRD AUDIENCE, ALL WOMEN: This is so TELLING! Yes, I figured what this is about – various audiences, how they respond to me.


          This is the new work I’m doing on my website, as well as my blog with William Bond. Here is presented THE NEW RELIGION, FOR WOMEN ONLY – ‘WOMAN, THOU ART GOD!’

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          This audience, of women only – not many because there aren’t that many hits (not much promotion) – are women who agree with me totally & are, here depicted, INSPIRED, like a REVIVAL MEETING or Pentecostal—Pentecostal meaning the Holy Spirit has hit them.


          They are black because it is their flesh, their bodies are revived, they are happy to be WOMEN—in other words, not just for their souls, but their gender because I am saying their gender is God.

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          WEARING BRIGHT COLORS & HATS: This is their EMOTIONS being revived, their feelings are good, bright, positive, the

HATS: are POSITIONS they now see themselves in, as LEADERS, being important, superior & autonomous. I suggest we women LEAVE MEN & create our own society, agenda, point of view, religion—everything according to our own needs & wishes. This is most definitely a REVIVAL FOR WOMEN & the fact that they are SO CLOSE TO ME I have to move is how much in favor they are of what I’m saying—so much so that they are asking me to STAY LONGER which means they want to hear more from me about this new religion!

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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized








          There was a MOVIE SET I am present at & it is SCARY.


          *(MOVIE SET I AM IN: Theater of life, my life.)*

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          It has something suspended way in the air, as if not attached to anything – a vehicle. Later I see it as attached, & on top is a truck (like you use for hauling, two or three times as big as a pickup truck, its open in back, its painted red, the rest is grey & black. Its suspended way up & precariously angled at a 90 degree downward.


          I think to myself that some crazy guy might get into it & drive it with dire consequences & suddenly someone does. He is in it, gets it started & drives down some kind of ramp—fortunately no accidents occur.

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          *(VEHICLE, TRUCK, PRECARIOUS 90 DEGREE ANGLE: A way given, possibly from Heaven (high above, seemed not attached to the earth but then later you see is attached), that seems scary & dangerous – a way of doing something one needs to do – possibly getting out of a bad situation. It has to do with a male you are concerned about – could be lover Peter who is in dire straits, & it’s scary for him to MAKE A MOVE—but HE DOES IT.


RED TRUCK BEING DRIVEN: person is in a scary, painful situation but boldly makes a move & comes out OK.)*


          This entire thing is a MOVIE SET. What am I doing here? Guess I’m in it. The company has taken over a huge mansion like a palace with ornate interiors – besides the scary contraption we are all in this ornately furnished mansion.

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          *(HUGE MANSION COMPANY HAS TAKEN OVER: Residence is a PLACE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, where one’s mind & heart are – good or bad. To be in a mansion like this is SPIRITUAL GREATNESS or being in a good state – your state. Extreme stress moves one closer to God, we are closer to God when suffering. The


          SCARY CONTRAPTION: is what does one have to do in this time to survive? This Pandemic? Where people are thrown on their ass, without work or money or security? What do they do?)*


          Right now I am outside in a kind of yard, looking into the great mansion as well as an old mansion to the left which is completely decrepit on the outside, falling down walls, roof, all caving in, all made of dark wood, two floors high. It’s on a lot with buildings within 10-15’ of it on all sides with fences or walls up to the second floor – no one seems to notice it but myself.

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          *(DECREPIT MANSION: This is the past relationship between you & lover Peter—it is decrepit, fallen apart, the way it used to be is over, finished. You aren’t ‘there’ any more. 


          WALLS, FENCES HIGH ALL AROUND IT: & no one seems to notice but me, means that no one knew or understood all the great things you had in mind for him, they were & are hidden.)*


          Outside a window is a strange sight – like fifty chairs all fitted into each other sticking out of a window, all completely rusted. I jokingly say to a friend nearby, do you need any chairs?—pointing them out.


         One standout thing is the

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          *(CHAIRS, ALL RUSTY, ABOUT 50, ALL FITTED ONE INTO THE OTHER: Chairs are positions, seats like thrones, places of rest or comfort. They represent the things you wanted for Peter – the accomplishments you would help him attain, the kudos, laurels, successes, all now


          OUT THE WINDOW: meaning over, finished, will not be. It seems like a joke – all you wished for him – as you speak of it to a friend. ‘Rusty’ means it hasn’t been used, didn’t happen.)*

          Another window had other items sticking out, can’t recall what.


        But INSIDE I see ornately carved bureaus, hand carved, some goldeny colored, some darker brown, like new, so ornate I know they would cost a fortune.

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          I think to myself why are those bureaus there, & how could a person get them – valuable, & I don’t understand why they’re in this crumbling, broken down, falling down mansion.


          *(VALUABLE, ORNATE, HAND CARVED BUREAUS, SOME GOLDENY, SOME BROWN: What is LEFT of that relationship is not the outside ambitions you had for him but what was inside, the inner value of the love.


          Bureaus would be things that hold things – these are


CHESTS OF DRAWERS: Chest refers to heart, & the drawers hold many things. This evokes the heart holding many ways of love, the desires to see another happy, whatever it takes. In other words, your heart held for him many ambitions, desires that you thought would bring him the things he wanted – but he did not cooperate, those things are gone. He will not be a ‘somebody,’ in the eyes of the world – he will not ‘succeed’ at any great career, finding fame or recognition.

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But the valuable love is still there wishing to heal him of his maladies, so he can be happy. This you want to retrieve from the failures – take out of that affair what had the deeper meaning.

HAND CARVED: Hands refer to the giving of love.

GOLDENY CHESTS OR BUREAUS: True love, gold is love.

SOME DARKER, BROWN: The dark spots you went through for love have great value, suffering is all we have to give to God – She gives us everything else. {Words of St. Francis of Assisi.})*


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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized







          dream interpreted for a friend

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          I had a best friend, Steven, who I loved & he loved me, for ten years. Then he had a misunderstanding about me—suspected me of doing something I didn’t do & because of it, dropped being my friend.


          *(STEVEN: This is the man you love. He misunderstood something he thought you did years ago & turned against you, moved in with another woman, but now he’s back or will be momentarily.)*


          Now I see him again. I am outside in a yard & see his head beyond a tall fence – just his head on the other side while he talks to someone—the house he lives in vaguely is behind him.

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I’m not attracted to him any more, & think how if we got together I would be loathe to have sex with him. In fact, I guess he’s my HUSBAND & yes I did love him but now he’s sort of repulsive to me. I look at his head & somehow both his head & dick seem small.


*(SMALL HEAD & DICK, REPULSIVE: His head is the attitude, way of thinking, his stupidity, & the dick part is if you no longer like his ways, you don’t like his dick either. You recall all the cruel, revengeful & cold hearted things he did to you over the years.


TALL FENCE, HE’S ON OTHER SIDE: This is he’s with another woman, part of the reason you hate him, the


TALKING: means relating, he’s relating to another woman.)*

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Then things happen. It’s like we go to dinner somewhere & we’re being feted—I don’t know why. Things have CHANGED.


*(CHANGED: This is saying he is not with the other woman, he’s returned to you & someone, somehow, is BLESSING, NOURISHING, giving you HAPPINESS.)*


As we sit a waitress appears who is SPECIAL. We’ve been already given food, but her appearance is extra. I tell people about it later, how she appeared, what a boon it was.


She makes food for us during this time of GREAT NEED. She cooks & serves us, & it’s grand.


*(SPECIAL WAITRESS, COOKING FOR US GREAT FOOD, A BOON: This woman represents the Heavenly Mother or God. She has visited us, brought us together, has granted happiness to us. Her visit is her blessings, Power & Love.)*

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Then I see a dish she made which is HUGE—it is one of those small pools I have outside to feed the animals, about 3.5’ across, a foot deep. This plastic bowl is filled with a dish she made where the top of it is like pizza or lasagna, it’s a thick sauce, red, like tomato on top, but the tomato is dark & thick & has something in it-not sure what-that makes it ‘meaty.’ She already made it but it has to sit, some type chemicalization, & we ask about when it can be eaten & she says IN TWO DAYS. Wow, what have we deserved to get all this?


*(IN TWO DAYS: You asked when something would happen where he would contact you & the affair would resume. Could this be the answer? Does two days mean two days, two weeks, two months or even two years? There is no TIME in the afterlife & so it’s difficult to gage a prediction here.


What I do know is the

HUGE BOWL filled with a dish: big enough to be a pool for a few ducks or a couple geese. It means HUGE BENEFIT, BOON, BLESSING, GIFT or JOY.

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MEATY TOMATO SAUCE TOP (not real wet, medium dry, something substantial which has to become more substantial by sitting: This gift is not ready today but will be in the time called ‘two days.’ Perhaps you will get a SIGN in two days—like the messages he’s been leaving on social media—messages that can be taken more than one way but he knows you know it’s to you {his live-in is too dumb to understand.}


Me: Momgod I’m stumped. Need your help. This could say a lot, but what specifically? I know there are big clues.


She: I suspect that in a couple days the conditions are ‘stewing’, ‘brewing’ or ‘gestating’ to be ENJOYED by him & you, so what would please both of you more than anything is if his affair with Stefania ended & yours would begin.

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The huge dish might be a BIG FIGHT. There is reason to believe she covered all the bills—even food–& he gave nothing. Now she has no money & is desperate to keep the family under the roof with food on the table, including diapers & formula for their child, but he refuses to fork over his salary. One can see how this would drive her ape shit & she would turn on him.


The symbols point to both bad & good—sometimes what is bad for one person is good for another—the pool/bowl is


BLACK: nothingness {no color}, depression, ending, funeral—their liaison ends.


RED, MEATY TOMATO SAUCE ON TOP: Red is pain, suffering,

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MEATY: would be weighty, serious, and strong. {A spiritual child can only have milk {consolation}, but when you grow up you can consume the ‘strong meat’ God gives of suffering.} This symbol is common in Mystical Theology. The


HUGENESS: of this dish is the hugeness of the event, a relationship that went on for years, that you have prayed about so long – will suddenly cease. That is your GIFT from the SPECIAL WAITRESS who is Mother God, who has ORCHESTRATED or PREPARED this event for you two.


Me: Mother God, people will say this is cruel to Stefania, will wish me bad luck rather than good. How do you explain that their breakup is from God, which leaves her & their child in poverty?


She: She has to find the road out of poverty that is not the devil & Hell—there are means of survival for her—family, friends & social welfare agencies. He did not help financially anyway–& is still unable to do so.

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The relationship was wrong. He was in desperate need, God sent him a woman to love who could save him, but he chose the path of Satan – he even said he had ‘sold his soul to the devil’ for ‘party lifestyle & popularity’ – he listened to lowlife drug addicts, abusive family & ignorant ‘friends,’ –you have suffered terribly for this.


It was God’s will from the beginning that you two be together– neither one of you can be happy any other way. Being apart was being outside the Will of God.

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During these years of deprivation you never gave up & continually prayed for him. Your prayers saved his life from an overdose. She has nothing to give him but the flesh & more substances – she cannot heal him of his afflictions & the need for medication – your prayers have begun his healing.


If people cannot understand this then it’s too bad – it’s none of their business anyway. It’s your lives, not theirs, let them take care of their own lives & stay out of yours. You are doing God’s will & that’s all that matters, the popularity contest is over, the public opinion is irrelevant.)*

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College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Uncategorized










for a friend, her dream


          There is some ‘to-do’ about my apt – I have had trouble finding a suitable one in previous dreams, seems I have a decent one now except for one thing – the devil is in it, my roommate.  Other than that I can’t place the apt as any I’ve ever lived in.

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          *(APT LIKE NONE I’VE EVER LIVED IN:  This I already sense is not about me/you – you are seeing in the skin of another person, & the devil is ‘Jake the lover.’  You will now see from the eyes of Jake’s roommate, Priscilla, what she’s experiencing from him now—his other side.  He’s been putting up a ‘front / act’ with her to get what he needed but the façade has dropped, she now sees his truly evil self.)*


          I come home & set to opening the door & there are FIVE LOCKS.  The demon {in the form of a man I used to know} helps open the door.  Why five locks? I wonder.  I ask him, do we really need five locks?  They are all types, some large–deadlocks.  When he came to the door he was a bit flustered that I might not get in promptly.


          *(FIVE LOCKS:  Momgod, help, I haven’t a clue.

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          She:  The five locks, what do locks do?  They keep people from getting in, they keep one’s place safe, secret, locked in.  Don’t look at this physically but MENTALLY.


          The many locks preserve the safety / secrecy of what is going on here but you, in a moment,  will see the truth of what you always suspected.  And by


          MAKING SURE YOU GET IN:  he wants you to know what you believed is correct.  It’s time.  In particular, he wants you to know he did not love this woman, he used her, – because now that this stint is over, he wants you back.


          His clothing says:

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          BLACK PANTS:  the fact that you will not have sex with him any more bothers him.  Black is absence or end or ‘funeral.’


          RED PULL-ON TOP:  He is hurting for lack of your love, he is in pain {red is fresh blood, the shirt goes over his torso & heart, it’s emotional pain.}


          DEMON, HE IS THE DEMON:  Because he used this woman, you are in her skin now, &– late this year will be five years – his secret remained all that time—five locks.  {The reason he USED HER is because he did not love her & did not contribute to her & their child with any of his resources.}  This will be revealed to her now, she sees it, because of what is happening or about to happen.  {you did tell her but she refused to believe, she was hoping/imagining the affair would some day be ‘wine & roses,’ but all that happened was lies & deception – now she has no money & the truth will be clear.})*

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The apt is fine, it’s ok, nothing bad; except for one thing—he’s here.  But he’s getting ready to go out & as soon as he does I can relax & be happy.


*(HIS BEING HERE IS THE ONLY BAD THING:  He is the worst thing in her life.  She has to make it now for herself & the child, he is redundant, he is superfluous, just another burden & he contributes nothing.  She anticipates relief & happiness when he’s gone–or when this evil personality changes {not a chance.})*


He look exactly like the demonic guy I used to live with in my early 20’s {he was a professional con man, lived off people, lived off me for a while.}  He’s pulling on black pants with a bright red jersey top, like a pull-on top.  His middle is filled in, there is no waist indentation.  He has a look on his face that shows nothing, maybe ‘anything goes’ or ‘whatever.’  I can’t wait for him to leave.


*(IN HER EARLY 20’s:  Priscilla is young

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PROFESSIONAL CON MAN, LIVES OFF PEOPLE INCLUDING ME:  Indeed, his pattern—You told her, she didn’t listen.

I explained the meaning of his outfit already.


NO WAIST, STRAIGHT UP & DOWN:  He is at no loss for his own needs, not hungry or thin, feeds himself with his money, buys what he needs – mainly substances & habits.)*


          NEXT SCENE


In the next scene I am in my B’klyn apt but it is different in that it has a staircase off to the left as I’m facing it, & people who I don’t know are gathering. weird-vintage-holiday-new-year-cards-22 white-raven2 wicca-ladyAvalon wild-cat-rosa-bonheur wingatestudio_walton_ford_bird_etchings-7-1 witchesdance_forbidden ws_Woman_Dark_Dress_Dandelion_1920x1200 

*(B’KLYN APT:  This was a place of great changes, highs & lows, where I saw God face to face but also martyred by the Divine Interior Stigmata.  It hearkens to monumental change, in the end, all turning out good.


STAIRCASE TO THE LEFT:  There was no floor above me, this would be going to the roof.  This sounds like ‘staircase to Heaven’ but also ‘the Cross of Our Lord’—indeed, his Cross led to Heaven, as He paid for our sins.  Therefore, this staircase is a great death, salvation & resurrection, death of one leading to life for someone else.


It seems like what is unfolding is the end of Priscilla {shown again & again in dreams} but a resurrection for me & ‘Jake the lover.’  {Yes we see his evil side here, but he isn’t all evil.  He was severely damaged, trying to survive, making bad decisions.  We are young & dumb before we get old & wise. People do make mistakes – they learn by them, they change.  He’s written poems, posts, begged about making mistakes, repented about her a hundred times on social media–praying I would see it.  She was too dumb to catch on or if she did, did nothing about it.  I just ignored him & let him keep suffering to learn his lessons.})*

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On the staircase on one step is one of my iron barbells & the same on another step.  Someone is sitting on the steps & I want to remove the barbells so they can be more comfortable – maybe another person might want to sit there.


*(BARBELLS ON ONE STEP & ANOTHER:  barbells are iron; metal to me is usually the nails they put into Jesus—which represents the WILL OF GOD.  This indicates what is to happen is THE WILL OF GOD.  She must end, I must begin.  I was told this in years, in hundreds of dreams—it was hard to believe but I kept my faith.  Now here it is, about to happen.


SOMEONE SITTING HERE:  Sounds like the person to be crucified – her.  I do not see the person’s identity, but I’m trying to help them, make them more comfortable, means I have charity for them, not animosity.)*

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I see a female come in, then another & another.  They are all GAUNT, thin, with gaunt faces like I have an image a painting of a gaunt, dark haired woman with short hair with a gaunt child in her lap – they all look the same – I don’t know them.  I get the feeling this is more their apt than mine – they don’t even see me I don’t think, they don’t look at me or speak to me.


GENESIS 41:   When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream: He was standing by the Nile,


when out of the river there came up seven cows, sleek and fat, and they grazed among the reeds.


After them, seven other cows, ugly and gaunt, came up out of the Nile and stood beside those on the riverbank.


And the cows that were ugly and gaunt ate up the seven sleek, fat cows. Then Pharaoh woke up.



*(GAUNT WOMEN-SEVERAL-MAYBE FIVE:  First, the gauntness.  This is hunger, in Pharaoh’s dream, famine, which is to us an economic crash, bankruptcy.  Now mind you, they lived a good life but week to week.  They wanted for nothing, she gave all, she supported him.  I suffered because of my love–they didn’t care, she hated me.  Then her years of ‘plenty’ceased, her famine begins, my famine ends, my years of plenty begin – isn’t karma wonderful?

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Now as you stand here, it seems you are like the ‘fly on the wall’—the women don’t see you but you see them, it’s your vision of what’s happening to her/them, not their vision of what’s happening to you.  This says the woman/women are in the state called ‘famine.’


By contrast, you see the demon, lover Jake again, going to the rest room, & he is FAT because he has no famine, he’s feeding himself—not his family.


Why several women?  It can be interpreted more than one way.  One way, it’s been several years where she got no resources from him.  Second, it could be a prediction that this famine / bankruptcy will continue for a while.  Could be five weeks, months, could be more if she does not work.


And third, possibly the most likely, is she is reaching out to her female friends, but they are all in the same boat, gaunt, all experiencing financial loss, cannot give her safe harbor, all discussing how to survive.  She might be asking if she can move in with a lady friend – several of them have infants.  But if they are all out of work how do they survive?  These things are probably being discussed—reaching out to social services is a must—applying to Catholic Charities & other agencies could work.

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NOTE:  It’s worth explaining that during these last few years, not a one of them cared about me.  They stole him from me, he was all I had.  They lived off ‘the fat of the land.’  They had enough money; they lived well & happy while I suffered, to the point of having five heart attacks, temporarily dying.  It’s a wonder I came back – they did not care a whit, only made fun of me because of my age.


Now it’s their turn to suffer.  Is turnabout fair play?  Tables turned, shoe on the other foot?  Karma is a bitch?  I am impervious to the economic crash & I have gotten over the obsession with lover Jake.  I can take him or leave him, would rather take him but not having him won’t kill me—before it could & did kill me.


Now this woman who scorned me & deprived me, looked down on me, turned her friends against me, has dust in her mouth.  They all said it was impossible for him to love me because of my age—now they will eat their words & curse their fate.)*     

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          Then I see a man who reminds of the demon in my apt – like him, he is straight up & down, no waist, his middle is full, he’s unattractive, even ugly, & I see him going to the rest room, somewhat half dressed so I see his up & down body.


          *(NO WAIST:  Explained before, he feeds himself, deprives his family of support.


          Everything I told the people who knew us will now be made obvious to them.  Jake is a gigolo—he never loved the woman he used.  He never used me, never asked me for anything, because he wanted me to admire him, think high of him, not low.  If you don’t care what a person thinks of you you can use them, & if they find out, they find out, you’ve lost nothing.  He doesn’t want me to think he’s a user, a gigolo, so he has not done to me what he did to her.  It will all come out in the wash now.)*

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