College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized





  by William Bond


Odin on the tree of Yggdrasil

The Masochistic Man

In the past and even now religions like Christianity, Judaism and Islam encouraged men to play the dominant role in their relationships with women.

The problem is for most men that only a handful of men get to play the dominant role. In our hierarchical system only the leaders are in a dominant position and have real power, most men are powerless. So the femdom scene reflects the true situation of the majority of men in any patriarchal society.

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It is true that patriarchy does encourage men to be dominant in their relationships with women and are made to feel ashamed if a woman dominates them. In the Western world up until the second half of the 20th century if a man failed to dominate his wife he was considered a wimp and not a ‘real man’.

In Islamic countries it was even worse with the ‘honour’ system. In this culture if a woman didn’t respect or disobeys her husband or male relation he was ‘dis-honoured’. The only way he could then regain his honour was to beat her up or murder her.

This then begs the question; if it is natural for a man to be the dominant sex, why does it need such an extreme violent custom to enforce it? If it was a natural behaviour it wouldn’t need to be enforced by any violent custom. This suggests it is not natural for men to be the dominant sex.

Because of this many men are either forced to play the role of a dominant male even though he doesn’t want to do this. Or the woman’s dominance is kept a secret and she only dominates him behind closed doors. Though it seems that women are not into dominance and submission in the same way men are.

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Females are different because they also connect sex with love because sex gives them children with whom they have a deep maternal love. This suggests that men and women are different as men connect sex with dominance, submission and violence while women connect sex with love. Though there is a crossover, men can teach women how to connect sex with sadomasochist desires and women can teach men how to connect sex with loving relationships.

The problem is that this can also create a misunderstanding between men and women. This is because many men assume that women who love them deeply must be masochistic and feel they have the right to abuse them. This is because masculine men see love as a weakness. They think, “nice guys come last” and so a loving person must be a loser. As the result, it is assumed by them that cruel and sadistic people are strong, while caring and loving people are weak.

This ignores that fact that loving women have to be very strong to be pregnant, give birth and then devote their lives in caring for helpless children. If women didn’t have the strength to do this, the human race would have become extinct long ago.

The masculine attitude affects the whole of patriarchal life. Male rulers like kings, emperors and presidents are told they have to be cruel and ruthless to be effective rulers. Generals are told they have to ruthlessly and use their troops like pawns on a chessboard and not care about casualties. There are also told to show no mercy to the enemy if they want to win.

Soldiers are also considered to be useless if they cannot ruthlessly kill the enemy. Businessmen are told that they must sack employees when they are no longer needed. As well as screwing down employees wages as much as possible, to maximize profits. While politicians are taught they have to use Machiavellian methods in which to destroy the opposition and deceive the voters.

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So in this, “dog eat dog” world, love is clearly a weakness. Many politicians will only talk about love and compassion to win votes and forget about it when voted into power. But this is only true while compassionate women are kept out of power and don’t demonstrate that caring and loving leaders are possible. This is probably why patriarchal societies have actively tried to prevented women gaining political, financial and religious power.

The patriarchal elite have known they cannot stop women from loving so they have encouraged women to love others but never themselves. So women were made to feel guilty about this and encouraged to love brutal men but never themselves or other women.

But unconditional love is a love for yourself as well as everything else, there is no-limits to unconditional love. When a woman learns total unconditional love where she can both love herself and love everyone else, she can be a caring dominant woman.

This is in total contrast to what we are told. So the dominance and submission desires cause men to assume that not only are loving women masochistic. They also assume that if they love women then they themselves must be masochistic and must therefore submit to women.

Many women can love others without the baggage of thinking in terms of dominance and submission but it is harder for men to do this. Unfortunately, the femdom scene was created by men and it has been men who have taught women how to be dominant. So they teach women to dominate like a man and be cruel and violent.

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We see this is they way women are dressed in Femdom scene where women wear black leather which is very masculine dress. They also suppose to dominate through physical punishment which again is a masculine way of doing this.

Yet over the centuries many wives have found it easy to dominate their husbands without having to do anything like this. Women do not have to adopt masculine methods to dominate men. There are many women who find it easy to dominate men and their secret is to simply tell men what to do. Once women realise that men are the submissive sex and will obey orders from those in authority, she finds many men will obey her.

This power can be made more powerful if a woman connects to the belief of a female God and realise she has a stronger connect to it than most men. So by this connection she can feel she is a Goddess. This then gives her a greater authority, which men can tune into and make them want to serve and obey and worship her.

Many wives have dominated their husbands throughout the patriarchal age but don’t go beyond this. This was because in the past women were only allowed to do menial work and kept away from any high paying work and so needed a husband’s wage to care for her children. But today women do not have to be limited by this and can have the same work as men. Though few women haven’t yet used their Goddess power to gain both financial and political power for themselves.

The patriarchy has kept women powerless by getting them to worship male gods and undermining their confidence. It is well known in sports that one way to win is to demoralize your opponent through verbal abuse. This is also used in war, business and politics as well as the sex-war between men and women.

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Many women cannot understand why men say horrible and nasty things to them and don’t realise it is part of the power-game men play. Competitive men look for weaknesses in each other and will exploit any they find. So if this type of man finds he can upset his girlfriend by any verbal abuse, he will exploit this to his own advantage. Men also have the power of violence and can use his greater size and strength.

This is because masculine men see relationships as a competitive game of dominance and submission. This then is a big problem for any women who think relationships are all about love.

These dominance and submission desires in men also are reflected in how men organize themselves. For a group of men to do a task together they find it easier to appoint a leader who tells the other men what to do. For this reason all patriarchal societies are organized in a hierarchical structure.

We see this in all patriarchal societies were they are ruled by a small very rich and powerful ruling elite while the majority of people are poor and powerless. What is also surprising is the small ruling elite is worshipped by the people.

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Logically this doesn’t make sense, unless it has to do with men’s masochistic desires to worship winners. The small ruling elite is seen like the dominant stag or bull as winner and is therefore worshipped by the losers who are the poor and powerless.

Not only do men worship the ruling elite they are totally obedient to them. We see this in warfare where soldiers where obey without question orders that will put their lives in extreme danger.

Perhaps it might be that men are the true natural submissive sex because slavery has been commonplace throughout recorded history. Serfs and slaves are totally powerless people, they are actually owned by other people and they have no rights and can be beaten or murdered with impunity. While the fruits of their labour goes to their owner and not to them.

Malcolm X a civil rights movement leader complained that many African American men had a slave mentality. But this might be true for most men as we see that slavery, serfdom and the exploitation of working men has been commonplace throughout history.

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It is true that women have also been slaves but women at least have good reason for this. Women are smaller, weaker and less aggressive than men so it is a lot harder for women to fight back when slavery is imposed on them through violence and intimidation.

If men are the dominant sex, as claimed by patriarchal propaganda, why have we had slavery and serfdom? We have had slavery from the time of the Ancient Greeks and Romans up until the 19th century. So men cannot be very domineering, if it is so easy for other men to turn them into slaves and serfs?

We also find the same situation in the military, where soldiers are seen as being tough macho men. Yet soldier will obey without question, the most insane orders which will result in their deaths. The extremes of this are World War One where soldiers climbed out of their trenches to face near certain death by machine gun fire because they were ordered to do so. Or in World War Two where Japanese Kamikaze suicide pilots deliberately crashed their aircraft into enemy shipping because they were also obeying orders. Patriarchy will spin this as iron discipline, but it is also extreme submission to authority.

The surprising thing is that the military can train men to kill themselves when ordered to do so, without any intense brainwashing. All they do is boss them around on a parade ground and they get so used to obeying orders that they will obey the most insane orders on the battle field.

What is striking about all patriarchal societies is that that they are all based on a hierarchical structure, where it seems men cannot work together unless they appoint a leader to tell them what to do. These leaders then get total obedience to the degree it is very easy for all patriarchal leaders to abuse their power.

This is why in all male dominated societies there is a vast gap between rich and poor because the ruling elite find it too easy to exploit the people they rule. This is only possible because men have within them a very strong instinct to obey orders from anyone in a leadership position. We have had in the past kings, emperors and dictators who have been obviously insane and yet still retain power. So strong is men’s instinct to obey a leader.

So this means that if women want to rule men all they have to do is to adopt the leadership position. Patriarchy has stopped women doing this by undermining women’s confidence in themselves. They also have told women that men are the natural dominant sex and women have believed this.

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The femdom scene does show us that many men have strong desires to worship and obey women. But unfortunately the men advise women that they must act and behave like a macho males to successful dominate men. Yet most women don’t want to do this and this is why there is a shortage of dominant women in the femdom scene. If men want women to dominate them they need to try and understand what women want in a submissive man and serve her in the way she wants to be served.

Although men play power-games with each other and with women, most men in all these power-games are losers. We see this in how patriarchal societies are designed where a small ruling elite have all the power and wealth while the majority of the people are poor and powerless.

So the average man is far more submissive than he is willing to admit. Women can take over and dominate men once she realized that men are the true submissive sex. So she can rule men by acting like a goddess and men will want to worship her.

1 comment:

  1. Rasa Von Werder28 April 2020 at 15:53


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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized






Dionysus on Cross

The Sacrificial/Saviour Gods

If we accept the matriarchal theory, which goes: In the past there was once a peaceful and caring matriarchal age that worshiped the Great Mother. In this age women ruled society and men never questioned this rule. Then women began to allow men more freedom but this went too far and men abused this this and ended up taking over and ruling society through violence.

Clearly if we look at the history of the last four or five thousand years we can see clearly that men have made a terrible job at ruling the world. Men’s answer to all problems has been aggression and violence, which has created a world of wars, genocide, poverty, fear, hatred and suffering. This was clearly seen two to three thousand years ago at the time of the saviour gods when there was still knowledge of the ancient matriarchal past.

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At that time there must have been a large number of people who wanted the world to return to matriarchy and the worship of the Great Mother. But what was preventing this, was violent and aggressive men.

What is clear is that the ancient religion were totally female dominated religions, but then these women allowed men power and some of these men took advantage and brought into being the patriarchal age.

The sacrificial/saviour god religions where probably an attempt to create female domination religions in ancient times. It is of interest that all these sacrificial/saviour god religions were also called Mystery religions.

Now in all Mystery religions there is an outer and inner mystery, where all knowledge of the inner mysteries is unknown except of an initiated few. In the earlier Mystery plays the saviour god sacrificed themselves to The Great Mother. For instance, in the Nordic mythology, Loki, one of their oldest Gods, was sacrificed to the Goddess Skadi. While even in the Jesus story, his crucifixion is witnessed by the three Marys. Who probably represented in earlier times the Triple Goddesses.

Jesus is also called a king and this may be about a very ancient tradition where the king is sacrifice. It seems in the matriarchal past only queens could rule but she had consort kings. These were mostly young men, and if the queen grew tired of him then he was sacrificed for the fertility of the land. Why this happened might be because a deposed king may be angry at his lost of power and status and stir up trouble for the Queen. Or he might be executed because he began to abuse his power, and tried to undermine or disobey the Queen. So the sacrifice of kings had a long tradition until with the rise of patriarchy and kings became too powerful to allow themselves to be sacrificed.

For this reason, the tradition of the sacrificing the king may have happened as matriarchy was declining. In a true matriarchal society men would not expect to have any power, and so a Queen could have many lovers with no fear that these men will want to take away her powers. As it would have been unthinkable in those days, that a male could, depose a queen and rule in her place. But with the rise of patriarchy, then queens may find themselves with lovers with strong political ambitions. So the only way to deal with them, was to have them executed, or threaten them with execution and claim it was a sacrifice.

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This type of sacrifice probably wasn’t voluntary, but in the savior god tradition it was. It was made very clear in the Bible that Jesus made no attempt to resist himself being crucified. So from this we have to ask the question how can the voluntary sacrifice of the god-man to the Great Mother, save us all?

The problem for people living near any patriarchal society who attempted to set up a matriarchal society of love and harmony, would be quickly conquered by violent men, who were only interested in loot and enslaving the population. So it would be clear that the cause of all the wars, violence, poverty and suffering was these selfish and violent men.

We know from history that the Amazons did for a while attempt to fight fire with fire and fight back. But this clearly wasn’t the answer because by becoming violent yourself you become exactly like the people you are fighting against. In other words the only way Amazons could be free was to become as aggressive, ruthless and violence as the men they fought. The Amazons failed to stop the rising tide of patriarchy, probably because women were unable to become as brutal and ruthless as men.

Now Femdom could be the solution for this problem. In military history there has been many cases where a small army of soldier have defeated far larger armies. The most famous was the Battle of Thermopylae when 300 Spartans stopped a very large Persian army.

It is mostly claim that this can only happen because the small army was better trained, but that is not the only the only reason for this. A group of psychopaths who have no qualms about killing people is going to have a big advantage in a battle again ordinary men who don’t like the thought of killing others.

We know a big problem for any military is forcing troops to kill others and they normally do this by brutalizing them. This is of course going to be a big problem for any loving and caring Matriarchal society because men will not be brutalized enough to want to kill other men in a war and so will be easy defeated in any military conflict.

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The answer to this problem might be Femdom, where men have masochistic desires for sadistic women. Most women don’t like whipping or torturing men but as we see in the Femdom scene there are some women who are happy to do this. So women like this can become officers in any matriarchal army and brutalize their male troops in the way any patriarchal army does. So they will be able fight and kill the men of any patriarchal army trying to invade them.

Unfortunately, as far as we know we didn’t have femdom in ancient times, or if we did no-one thought of using it, to brutalize troops. Instead women decided on a different strategy and attempted to reform these violent men. To do this they gave them a vision of what a caring and loving world would be like and explaining to them this is only possible if men are willing to sacrifice yourself to the Great Mother. So a story was created about a drama of heroic sacrifice, of a God-man sacrificing himself for the good of the world.

To some degree this seems to of been successful because all over Europe and the Middle East there were saviour god religions. So it seems many men were willing to sacrifice themselves to the Goddess in these Mystery religions. Unfortunately, these religions became victims of their own success, because patriarchal leaders who had no interested in sacrificing themselves, saw these religions as a threat to their power and set about either destroying them or taking them over.

It is of interest that early Christianity was very popular among the slaves of the Roman empire. This would make sense as many matriarchal societies where victims of the conquering Romans, so there would be a tradition of the worship of the Mother Goddess among the slaves. For this reason they would be very sympathetic to a saviour god religion like early Christianity.

In the 3th century AD, Rome found itself with three large Saviour God religions. The largest was the Egyptian religion of the Goddess Isis and her saviour god Osiris. Then there were two other the Christians and another based on the saviour God Mithras. 

Isis raising Osiris from the dead

Attempts by the Roman ruling elite to stamp out these saviour god religions, was at first unsuccessful. They were unsuccessful in destroying Christianity, while the Isis religion was popular in the Roman military so this could cause a civil war if they attempted this.

So the ruling elite instead attempted to promote a religion based on another saviour god Mithras, as it was the religion they preferred but this didn’t receive enough support from the people. So in the end they decided that if you can’t beat them join them. They clearly didn’t want a Goddess religion like the the Isis religion and so Christianity became the final choice.

The Roman rulers simply hijacked the Christian religion and changed it to make it acceptable to them. They then set about destroying the religion of Isis were able to convert people in this religion to Christianity because both religions were similar.

But they also destroyed Christian sects like the Egyptian Gnostics that refused follow the type of Christianity put forward by the Roman elite. The actual teachings of Jesus like, “loving your neighbour”, “turning the other cheek” was quickly ignored as the Roman rulers and became more interested in the religion of Judaism and promoted this, rather than what was taught by the early Christian Church.

The promotion of Judaism was the opposite to what many early Gnostic Christians taught, as they referred to the Jewish Jehovah god as the Demiurge and claimed he was a evil god from whom Jesus came to save humankind. The original New Testament was suppose to be an attack on the Old Testament and the patriarchal religion of Judaism, but this was soon changed to endorsing it.

Another big change was that many of the saviour god religions promoted sexual freedom. We can see this is the religions of Dionysus and Bacchus where many of the famous Roman orgies were Bacchus festivals.

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Sexual freedom at the time benefited wealthy women. This was because if women had a sexual licence to have sex with whoever they liked, then no one could say for sure whom were the fathers of their children and so, rich and powerful men had little idea who were their sons. This meant that inheritance of wealth and power could only come down the female line. Meaning that, a large amount of wealth and power stayed in the hands of women.

It seems that early Christianity was also an orgiastic religion of free love, before it became a state religion. To promote the power of men, Christianity was changed to have strict marriage laws where it became a sin to have sex outside of marriage. (Though this only applied to women and not men). The idea being that rich and powerful men now knew whom their sons were and could pass their wealth and power down the male line, preventing it getting into the hands of women.

Then Christianity as a state religion and later the Moslems set about destroying all knowledge of the ancient religion of the Great Mother. With this knowledge finally forgotten by the common people, they were then able to put forward the idea that Jesus sacrificed himself to an angry god to appease him. Rather then the idea, that all men need to sacrifice themselves to the Great Mother, and to women, before we can have a peaceful matriarchal world once again.

Perhaps the mystery religions of the past were a few thousand years before their time. They were trying to promote a vision of a peaceful and loving world in a very violent age. Today in the 21st century we see in the West at least a different attitude to violent men. It is far less acceptable for Western rulers to go out and conquer other countries, (though it still goes on, as we saw in the recent Iraq and Afghanistan wars). And it is far less acceptable for them to rule through fear and intimation. Western rulers today are forced to listen to the needs and desires of the common people and even respect the views and opinions of minorities.

So perhaps the sacrificial/saviour god image within Christianity acted as a Trojan Horse for the patriarchal age. On the collective unconscious level it created a archetype that has influenced all men in Christian countries for the last two thousand years. So that the idea of voluntary sacrifice has become acceptable to men which is starting to bear fruit in the last hundred years. It is interesting that feminism has progressed in Christian countries where men allow women to demand equal rights. This is in stark contrast in Islam countries where feminist women are beaten up, put into jail, and murdered by being stoned and beheaded.

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In contrast, we have seen in Christian countries Jesus like men, in Hippies of the 1960s where men have tried to practice peace and love. Or ideas of the “new man” where men stay at home to look after the house and family while his wife goes out to work. In its more extreme form, we have the concept of Femdom where women totally dominate men. So are these men very much in tune with the archetypal sacrificial/saviour god? Clearly if all men are strongly influenced by this powerful archetypal it will save the world from violence, wars and suffering.

Although Christianity has mostly ignored the teachings of Jesus and have concentrated more on the Old Testament god of judgement and fear, the symbols of a sacrificial Jesus are seen in all Churches. Also, the Great Mother is represented in Roman Catholic Churches in the disguise of the Virgin Mary. So even though many Christian priests have only paid lip-service to the teachings of Jesus and the drama of his betrayal and crucifixion, this is still taught. These symbols, dramas and teachings have been unconsciously influencing men in Christian Counties ever since Christianity became a state religion.

So although in the short term the attempt by matriarchal women to create a submissive saviour god in the past seems like a failure. The popularity of the sacrificial drama of Jesus Christ has brought about an archetypal change in men, which will allow men to surrender themselves to women and bring about a new matriarchal age. After all, it is in Christian countries where we see the rise in feminism during the 20th century and more recently the beginnings of Female Domination. The concept of the sacrificial god, does seem to be working on minds of men to allow themselves to tune into this powerful archetype.

Although for us to have peaceful Matriarchal societies we also need an army with female officers using femdom methods to train their troops again any invading patriarchal army.


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Femdom Christianity Chap 2

Femdom Christainity: Chapter Two

by William Bond



                                                                         The Last Judgement

Male Domination Religions.

Three of the most successful religions in recent times, Judaism, Christianity and Islam all have male domination aspects to them. It is clear Jesus wasn’t like this but his later followers certainly were, as they insisted on a male priesthood and claimed God is male.

As Paul is suppose to have said, “Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.” 1 Corinthians 14:34-35. And of course there is similar stuff in the Old Testament when God tells Adam the following.

“And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise the head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Unto the woman he (God) said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Genesis 3 : 15-16

Interestingly in the Koran, Eve is not blamed for eating the forbidden fruit like in the Hebrew Bible but even so Islam is very extreme male-dom with genital mutilation, women covering their faces and a honour system where a man has a right to kill his wife if she “dishonours him” by disobeying him. We see this from Islamic scriptures.

“Men are superior to women on account of the qualities with which God has gifted the one above the other, and on account of the outlay they make from their substance for them. Virtuous women are obedient, careful, during the husband’s absence, because God has of them been careful. But chide those for whose refractoriness you have cause to fear; remove them into beds apart, and scourge them: but if they are obedient to you, then seek not occasion against them:” Quran verse 4:34.

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Even in a more mild religion like Buddhism, women are not allowed any positions of authority or power. Buddhism worship the male Buddha like a God, (even though he claimed he wasn’t a god) while women are only allowed the role of nuns.

So it is of interest that we have male domination religions with male gods but no female dominated religions with female Goddesses. This is of course a refection of the political reality where throughout history we always had male dominated governments. Today things are different where we now have more female leaders of countries than ever before, so in these times perhaps a female dominated religion may be possible.

So what would a female domination religion be like? It would simply be the opposite to a male dominated religion and worship a female deity and have a female priesthood.

Now some feminist will claim it would be better to sexually equality religion and worship both a male and female deity and have both priests and priestesses. This would only be a source of conflict where competitive priest will be competing against the priestesses for power.

We have had this situation in the past where we had pagan religions that worshipped both gods and goddesses and had both priests and priestesses. As we see in the ancient religions of Greece, Rome, Egypt and the Old Norse religion.

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But over time the power of the priestesses was undermined and we end up with only priests who worshipped a male god. We even have this situation today in Hinduism where they still worship gods and goddesses but it is male priests who dominate most Hindu sects.

There are few powerful Goddesses in Hinduism like Kali. She is the Goddess of the Tantra sect where they practice sex with the woman on top. The man is also not allowed to orgasm but women can do this as many times she likes so it is sex about the pleasure of women and not the man. They practice the same form of sex in Taoism. This show the matriarchal roots of both religions.

So history shows us that a sexual equality religion will, in time, only lead to male dominated religion. This is why a female dominant religion can only work if men are kept out of any position of authority. What people do not know today that in the distant past there were matriarchal religions that worshipped only female deities and had a female priesthood.

In Greek Legend there is a story of an ancient Golden Age where people lived in peace and prosperity. To quote: “The first age was an age of innocence and happiness. Truth and right prevailed, though not enforced by law, nor was there any magistrate to threaten or punish. The forest had not yet been robbed of its trees to furnish timbers for vessels, nor had men built fortifications around their towns. There were no such thing as swords, spears, or helmets. The earth brought forth all things necessary for man, without his labour in ploughing or sowing. Perpetual spring reigned, flower sprang up without seed, the rivers flowed with milk and wine, and yellow honey distilled from the oaks.”

After that came the Silver age, where everything wasn’t so good then the Brazen age and finally the Iron age, which is really our present age of warfare and violence. The whole concept of this myth is that everything has become slowly worse and worse for human kind since the Golden Age.

Yet the myth of the Golden age doesn’t only come from Ancient Greece. Probably the most ancient religion that survives today is Taoism in China. Again this religion talks about a Golden age in the past. As explained often in the Tao-Te-Ching written by Lao Tzu.

Eve and Serpent

 The concept of the Golden Age is also in the story of the Garden of Eden which again is a paradise. Then Adam and Eve sinned and they were banished into the waste land and Adam had to work “by the sweat of his brow”. The story of the Garden of Eden comes from a Golden age story from ancient Mesopotamia. Also in the few Aztec and Maya writing that have survived again there is a myth of a very ancient Golden Age ruled by a compassionate Mother Goddess. Which is shown in contrast to the later age of warfare and human sacrifice. In fact most ancient cultures of the world have some myth of a golden age of the ancient past.

One Greek scholar Hesiod told the story of Pandora’s Jar. Zeus gave a jar to Pandora to keep safe but she opened it and out poured sickness, death and evil. This story is an attack on the ancient Goddess Pandora who “the all-endowed” or “all-giving” Goddess. So Hesiod twisted this to blame sickness, death and evil onto her. So like Eve in the Bible story she was blamed for man’s downfall whereas the demise of humans came when men dominated religion and politics.

When patriarchal rulers took control the people found they were worse off and naturally complained about this. The patriarchy of course were not going to blame themselves to made up stories like Eve eating the forbidden fruit or Pandora opening the Jar, to blame it all on women.

Though there is an element of truth in both stories. We did once have a Golden age of peace and harmony when women allowed men their natural desires to serve and worship women. But it all went wrong when some women interfered with this and thought that men and women should be equal.

Surprisingly, even in the Hebrew Bible it is mentioned that people once worshipped Goddess and were better off when they did this. as we can see in the following passage.

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“We will certainly do everything we said we would: We will burn incense to the Queen of Heaven and will pour out drink offerings to her just as we and our ancestors, our kings and our officials did in the towns of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem. At that time we had plenty of food and were well off and suffered no harm.” Jeremiah 44:17.

Somehow this paragraph escaped the patriarchal censors. The Queen of Heaven was a goddess and scholars tell us that the Jews did once worship Goddesses like Shekinah, Asherah, Anath, Astarte, Ashima, Lilith and Sophia.

We find the same in Islam where their holy book is called the Koran. What they don’t tell you is that this book was named after the Goddess Kore, (not the same as the Greek goddess also called Kore). She was then worshipped by Mohammed’s tribe the Koreshites, (Children of Kore) and her shrine was in Mecca. Mohammed at first preached from the Koran of the Goddess Kore but then completely rewrote it after he was banished from Mecca.

This is why some Mullahs can claim Islam is a religion of peace, because it seems some of the original teachings from the Goddess Kore survive in the present day Koran. It even talks about the Oneness of God.

At one time modern academics have rejected these Golden Age legends as pure myth. Not only do they sound too good to be true. Recorded history seem to show a different story. They claim that the further you go back in history the more brutal and violent men seem to behave. After all we do not have human sacrifice any more. Though it has to be admitted we still have genocide and wars as we have seen with the Nazi and Po-Pot regimes in the last century. In spite of that it has been assumed by archaeologists that people in pre-historic times were even more brutal than people in historic times. But in the last century archaeology discoveries have challenged this assumption.

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In the 1960s a archaeologists called Mellaart lead a team to excavate a site in Anatolia in Turkey. This site turn out to be the oldest city ever discovered. Called Catal Huyuk it goes back over 9,000 years. What was discovered goes against all assumptions archaeologist have about people living in Neolithic times. They couldn’t find any fortifications to defend the city or any weapons of war. Neither could they find signs of violence committed on people buried in graves. It was also a city full of feminine imagery to the degree that Mellaart was force to say that the people worshipped the Ancient Great Mother.

So unsettling was these discoveries that the site was closed down for thirty years and the academic world ignored the implications of this find. But there was one archaeologist who was brave enough to challenge the accepted wisdom of the academic world.

The late Marija Gimbutas went digging in other Neolithic sites and found similar findings. She also highlight the Neolithic findings that Soviet scientists had made in Transylvania. As well as Goddess civilizations found in Crete and Malta. All showing peaceful societies that worshipped the Great Mother. Gimbutas became a very controversial figure and her books and work were rejected by the academic world. But other archaeologist were also making similar finds.

The Indus Valley civilization in Pakistan was again an Ancient society that archaeologists could find no signs violence or weapons of war. Even more recently in Caral in Peru the oldest city ever discovered in South America, going back to 5,000 years, the same thing was discovered. Given the violent history of later South American civilizations with mass human sacrifice archaeologists expected to find the same thing. But no matter how hard they looked they couldn’t find any evidence of human sacrifice, warfare or any other indication of violence. And they had to conclude that this civilization existed in peace for thousands of years.

The overwhelming evidence of these finding have made more modern academic wonder if Marija Gimbutas might be right after all. Some are coming out of the woodwork and supporting her like Richard Rudgley in his book “Lost Civilizations Of The Stone Age”.

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So what is the implication of these findings?

No longer can it be claimed that we lived in the stone age as savage brutes. As it seems that violence started thousands of years after the first civilizations got started. It also brings into question if men are naturally violent.

After the second world war the American military did a study on how well their troops did in the war. They interviewed a large number of ex-servicemen and found that only a small minority admitted to killing the enemy. Most claimed that they only shot above the heads of the opposing side and didn’t want the deaths of the enemy on their conscience.

In contrast in the same war the Japanese troops had a reputation of brutality and ruthlessness. But the Japanese military training was very harsh. The new recruits were beaten up by older soldiers at the beginning of their training and then after their first year they were encouraged to do the same to the newer recruits. Later on in their training they were taught to kill by killing prisoners of war. So it seems that the Japanese military knew that to turn an ordinary Japanese male into a effective killing machine, they had to completely brutalize him.

The same is true of the German soldiers under the Nazis, where again the ordinary soldier was  brutalized. Yet in spite of this, when the Nazis started their genocide against the Jews they at first just took groups of Jews into the forest and had them shot by ordinary soldiers. But the effect of shooting defenseless civilians had a devastating effect on many of the soldiers ordered to do this and some committed suicide afterwards. This became such a problem for the Nazis that other methods like gas chambers, had to be used to conduct mass murder that didn’t involve using ordinary servicemen.

During the Falklands war 250 British servicemen lost their lives. 20 years after the war 265 men who saw action during the war have since committed suicide. Even worse figure are shown for the American troops that fought in the Vietnam war. Though this is a controversial subject in USA and it is hard to get exact figures.

If the Japanese military had to brutalize their troops to make them kill. While soldiers in Britain and America as so upset by the experience of war that many have since committed suicide. It calls into question whether men are naturally violent. Yet recorded history is a history of war, genocide and cruelty. So if it is not natural for men to be violent, why is it still going on?

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In all the Golden age legends they do not explain why things started to go wrong. But Gimbutas claims that the downfall of many of the peaceful Goddess civilizations as caused by violent patriarchal tribes invading them from the north. So it suggests that it was the invention of war that ended the last Golden Age. Where the early patriarchal rulers behaved like Mafia bosses in imposing a reign of terror on the people, then started a protection racket that was in effect the first taxation.

So the good news is that a Golden age did exist in the past, and we are not naturally violent. Most men have to be brainwashed into being like this through brutalization. The bad news is that the Pandora’s Box has been opened in that violent men have found they can rule countries and even empires through fear and violence.

But this is not what the majority of us want. Most of us do not want to live in a world of war and violence and it is up to us to not allow a minority of violent men spoilt it for us all. We have to learn how to stop our young people being brutalized by school bullies, street gangs, prisons, poverty, unemployment, violent films and video games, violent parents and the military. Then we can perhaps get back to living once again in a new Golden Age of peace and prosperity.

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized


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Covid-19–What They Don’t Tell You—Part I


by a man with an internet connection April 17, 2020

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         Is Covid-19 a real pandemic, thrust unexpectedly onto the entire world by a mischievous Chinese bat, somehow far more deadly than the hundreds of other coronaviruses in common existence, from all variety of animals – bats inclusive – or is it in fact a highly coordinated event, planned in advance, and blown out of all proportion by governments, media and corporations? Are the heavy restrictions, that will prevent things like four people walking side-by-side on the sidewalk, but allow them to share a car, consequence of biological disaster, or political?


         Many reading this will have formed their opinions after watching an awful amount of mainstream media, saturated with Covid content. However with the media controlled by governments and corporations with vested interests, there are certain things they won’t tell you. If you want to see the bigger picture, and discover the less reported details, read on. As much as possible, this paper will attempt to avoid speculation, looking instead at observable, published data. It is out there, and I have compiled a great deal. Please do not let this be in vain. I hope it may be shared amongst the community, for all with eyes to read. All sources are linked.


Before December The first reported case of Covid-19 was in December 2019, in Wuhan, China. At the time it was supposedly an unknown quantity, yet On October 18, 2019, two months earlier, the JohnsHopkinsCenter for Health Security (who are now providing a huge amount of statistics for this event) along with policymakers, business leaders, and health officials, undertook a carefully designed simulation of a coronavirus epidemic entitled nCoV-2019. (n-CoV-2019 was the initial acronym adopted by WHO (World Health Organisation) before it was changed to Covid-19). How did they know to prepare for the outbreak of a virus that wasn’t known to exist, and simulate its spread and response?


Sponsors of the simulation were the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundations, and WEF (World Economic Forum). The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, along with WHO, the European Commission, and the UK government, have funded a group named the Pirbight Institute, which owns the patent for coronavirus and following vaccines. The patent was filed June 19, 2015, and approved November 20, 2018 . Lets quickly look at the definition of a patent:


“A patent is an exclusive right granted by a country to an inventor, allowing the inventor to exclude others from making, using or selling his or her invention.” That’s right, major corporations are actually inventing viruses, and selling the resulting vaccines to you for profit, backed by Government. 1 As further proof they saw this coming, the CDC (Centres for Disease Control and Prevention), another major authority in this event, started hiring for state-wide coordinators of its Quarantine Program back in mid-November. They also own more than 50 patents connected to vaccinations, showing they too have a major financial incentive to promote viruses. In 2017, World Bank launched $500 million in pandemic bonds… 3 years before the coronavirus outbreak, “to cover developing countries against the risk of pandemic outbreaks over the next five years.”

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Given how rare pandemics are, and how supposedly unpredictable, that’s an awful lot to devote to pandemic outbreaks. Any chance they saw it coming? In January, close to Wuhan, a hospital has reportedly been built in just days, specifically to deal with Corona Virus. While built after the outbreak, we know major facilities like that take months or years of planning and funding, meaning development on the facility started well before December. We might further ask if it was just coincidence that a coronavirus outbreak occurred in the only Chinese city (Wuhan) where a coronavirus study was being conducted? The lab cost $44 million to build, specifically for “studying the pathogen that caused SARS,” which was a type of coronavirus.


Perhaps even more spooky is a novel published in 1981 predicting the outbreak of pneumonia-like illness spreading throughout the globe in 2020, originating from… Wuhan. Deaths Misrepresented OK, so this looks like a planned event, supported by Governments and major health organisations worldwide, but the pandemic is still real, right? Massive numbers of people are still dying? Well, not so fast. According to official CDC data, from February 1 through April 7, within the 50 states, and district of Columbia, there were 2,214 total deaths from Covid-19, and 476,602 deaths from all causes. That’s just 0.5% of deaths from Covid19! Updated data as of April 16 shows 11,356 deaths from Covid-19, and 569,403 total deaths. Just 2% of all deaths. Some pandemic!


The updated data looks pushed, since it is impossible that the percentage jumped from .5 to 2 in one week. For a country in lockdown those numbers are shockingly low, but even more so when you consider this: NVSS (The National Vital Statistics System) is a US Government supported system of sharing data, which coordinates different state health departments and the National Center for Health Statistics, which is a division of the CDC. On March 24 they released a statement announcing a new ICD code for Covid-19 deaths. I quote: “Should “COVID-19” be reported on the death certificate only with a confirmed test? COVID-19 should be reported on the death certificate for all decedents where the disease caused or is assumed to have caused or contributed to death.


Believe it or not, that is their use of bold, not mine. This means no confirmation of Covid-19 is required in order for it to be listed as cause of death. Just 2% of total deaths are listed as Covid-19, and they may be based on nothing more than an 2 assumption! If a patient has five serious illnesses, but blows their nose ten seconds before dying, the doctor may whimsically put it in the Covid-19 column. The waters are muddied in Germany by other means. The Robert Koch Institute, which is the public health institute in Germany, is now advising against autopsies of test-positive deceased persons, because risk of droplet infection by aerosols is allegedly too high. Without autopsies, real cause of death cannot be confirmed. This despite two facts, 1) With necessary precautions, for all manner of conditions, including contagious diseases, autopsies have been carried out safely for eons, and 2) At the end of March, WHO had no evidence for aerosol dispersal of the virus, instead considering it a “possibility” based on rumoured, unpublished studies, and an experimental study which does not reflect normal human conditions.


Are we really to believe THIS is scary enough to abandon proper procedure? If WHO is one of the leading authorities on this matter, and they cannot produce evidence the virus remains airborne under normal human conditions, why do we see no ease in restrictive measures like self isolation and social distancing, which have lead to disastrous social and economic consequences, undertaken for fear of transmitting the virus through air? And are we really to believe Government health institutes can’t afford proper protective equipment for autopsies against this virus, yet will happily advise us to wear simple face masks as protection?


Or is it more likely they are looking for ways to cover up the real cause of death, which was not Covid-19? The answer is given to us by the President of the Robert Koch Institute, who on March 20, confirmed, same as America, that test-positive deceased are counted as “corona deaths” regardless of the real cause of death. English translation: “We consider a corona death to be someone who has been diagnosed with a coronavirus infection.” Died with Coronavirus, not of or from. Two terms with very different meanings, now being used as the same, thus generating completely unreliable and unethical data. The median age of the deceased is over 80 years, usually with the existence of one or more serious illnesses. German virologist Hendrik Streeck gave the example of a 78- year-old man who died of heart failure, but was included in the statistics of Covid-19 deaths after testing positive.

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Head of Forensic Medicine in Hamburg, professor Klaus Püschel, is quoted (via translation), “not a single person who was not previously ill died of the virus. All those we have examined so far had cancer, a chronic lung disease, were heavy smokers or severely obese, suffered from diabetes or had a cardiovascular disease.” It is not just America and Germany that treats deaths in this manner, but Italy too. Here is a quote from the Scientific Advisor to Italy’s Minister of health: “The way in which we code deaths in our country is very generous in the sense that all the people who die in hospitals with the coronavirus are deemed to be dying of the coronavirus.” Meanwhile, the ISS (Istituto Superiore di Sanità), the leading technical-scientific body of the Italian National Health Service, conducted a study, published March 17, showing 99.2% of Italy’s coronavirus fatalities were people who suffered from previous medical conditions.


Hypertension exists in 76.1%, Diabetes in 35.5%, Heart Disease in 33%, Atrial Fibrillation in 24%. 25.6% had two or more pathologies, while 48.5% had three or more. The average age of those who died is 79.5. Nursing home deaths in Italy have been attributed to Covid-19, without any tests even carried out for it. 3 The same is occurring in Austria. Bernhard Benka, member of the Corona Task Force in the Ministry of Health, confirmed that patients dying both with and from coronavirus were counted as a coronavirus death. We have an example in Spain of a 21-year-old male being marked in the Corona column despite suffering from Leukemia. If these five countries are treating deaths in this manner, how many others are? Another way of determining the impact of Covid-19 is to observe statistical data on mortality rates in 24 European Countries, dating back to 2016. In a pandemic we would expect greatly increased numbers, yet at time of writing (April 14) only Italy, Spain, UK, Netherlands, and Belgium have peaks marginally higher than those that came before, with trendlines already starting to come back down. That is 5 out of 24 countries listed, or just 21%.


The majority are continuing in line with the average, give or take a little. A report dated March 30 – around or even after the time many countries had decided to take major precautionary measures like lockdowns, closed borders, self isolation and social distancing – presented data from the same site, showing only Italy in a state other than ‘no excess deaths’, meaning 96% of countries listed were at either average or below average death levels. A separate report on mortality rate in Switzerland supports this. Are those the kind of scary numbers that would cause Governments to implement such severe restrictions? You will say the subsequent rise post March 30 in a few countries proves the Government made the correct decision, so lets compare data from countries that are not following lockdown measures to those that are. As reported by the BBC on April 7, just one week ago, I will compare countries who have not put any lockdown measures in place to those who put the strictest lockdown measures in place. So as to reduce research time, I will limit it to countries that have a population greater than 9 million, or one per region.

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The data I have used to fill these tables is sourced from Worldometer, who are counting Coronavirus cases and deaths by Country. As time of writing (April 14/15) is a week later than the BBC article, this will create a discrepancy for any countries that have altered lockdown rules in the meantime, but it was the most extensive, up-to date list I could find, and will be close enough together to show the trends. Countries that have not enforced any lockdown: 4 Countries that have employed the strictest lockdown measures: Country Population (millions) Covid-19 Deaths % Deaths per Population Covid-19



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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized








          There was something to do with my appearing / performing. I was on a street looking through night clubs when finally it focused down to one place. There was a club just opened, & it seemed to be just for me to perform—this is such a privilege.


          I go there & look in a window. Is it big, small? Is it ordinary, because how great could I be, that they open up a club just for me?


          *(PERFORMING IN A CLUB MADE JUST FOR ME: This is a message to me that will be delivered by Holy Mary, concerning the Mass I am saying daily again. She wants to encourage me, she will tell me it works & they (She, Jesus I presume) are pleased.)&

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          Inside I see like three rooms joined into one. There seem to be somehow large beds,{Queen sized}, covered in red covers. Where is the stage? Where are the seats?


          *(BEDS, TWO LARGE WITH RED COVERS: This represents ‘The Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary’—the way I say their Mass. It’s as if they were ‘in bed’ or died their Holy Deaths, covered in ‘blood’ seen as the red of the covers.)*



          I see chairs & tables vaguely. Someone says to me,


          “I can deal with this except for the stage.”


          *(THE STAGE: We are honoring the Death Jesus freely accepted, his Crucifixion, & the participation of Holy Mary which was equal. The stage or how it happened was horrific, someone is saying they ‘could not deal with it.’)*


          I was wondering if the stage was small – I have worked in places where it was like 4’X5’ – like a postage stamp you might say – for someone like me who moves around a lot that’s not comfortable. I look & think I see a table with the rim like an ‘octagon’ with a pretty blue stripe design around the edge {like a mosaic tile design, Moroccan} & it has some chairs by it, maybe silver. Could this be the stage? The entire place is an L shape like my house. But I MUST PREPARE.

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          *(THE STAGE: Is no more than a table. It’s just a medium size kitchen table covered in tiles – the dream refers to tiles.)*


          I have no idea why, but when I prepare I go in with a strong cleaner – like Ajax scouring powder. I take an off-white old rag, cover it with the cleaner & am scouring the back of a refrigerator where there is so much old dry muck-—I have to go over plastic ridges to get it off & it comes off. I worked all over this contraption, front & back, now am on the back.


          A LADY COMES IN to see how I’m doing. I show her my hands, covered in grayish powdery film –


          “My hands should not look like this,”


          *(CLEANING WITH STRONG SCOUR POWDER: This is cleaning Souls in Purgatory – what the Holy Mass does. I am holding the Blood of Jesus & Mary in the ‘martini glass’ in my hand – it is the actual Cleanser – his & her Blood they shed, I now invoke, consume, they receive it. It cleans OLD SINS.

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          MY HANDS SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THIS: These are innocent hands invoking Jesus & Mary’s Grace, as if the sins or effects of sins or on my or their hands, & they do the cleaning. My hands should not look like this could mean – I am not a sinner, but I see the effect of sins on ‘my hands’ as if I did it – but it’s on Jesus & Mary’s hands, as if They did it. They stand in for the sinner & cleanse their sins.


          REFRIGERATOR: Is like ‘cold storage’ of sins – they have been there a long time, like ‘cold cases’ of criminals. Here I was cleaning the front, now the back. The back looks like a plastic off-white screen I have on both sides of my attic – a ventilation system. Sins are also forgotten or stored


          IN THE ATTICS of the minds & memories of our lives – we have forgotten them but the karma is still there.)*


          I then notice that she or someone has given me a nice complimentary drink – it looks like water but it’s a cocktail, in a MARTINI GLASS & I’m balancing it in one hand & I guess taking sips while I continue cleaning.

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          *(MARTINI GLASS, holding in one hand, sipping from: This is the KEY to the dream. One you have the KEY it all FALLS INTO PLACE – you know the meaning of the dream, therefore you can deduct the rest of the symbols, it’s easy. This glass is the GLASS I DO THE MASS WITH, WHICH HOLDS WATER, WHICH TURNS INTO THE BODY & BLOOD OF JESUS & MARY. So I instantly know this is about my performing the Holy Mass!)*


          Later this lady who is PREPARING FOR ME TO PERFORM is writing a list on a piece of paper for what I need – I am the star – somehow GREATLY PRIVILEGED – she apparently is going to put materials onto the couches-one of which on I rest in between shows, & ask me what kind of material I want for my couch. What a question, I think. I mean what could I say? Cotton? What kind material? Oh yes,




          I tell her, thinking of a red velvet bed cover I have from long ago – it won’t hurt her, since she has all these materials, to do the velvet instead of another material.


          *(MATERIAL ON MY COUCH HOLY MARY WILL COVER: She / They are honoring me similar to themselves, as a martyr. Like they have beds with red covers, She gives me my couch, where I rest, with a red cover, like I’m one of them. What an honor!)*


          What amazes me is how these people, whoever they are, have prepared a club just for me to star in. It isn’t huge or fancy, but it’s comfortable & accommodates a decent amount of people. I would say 50 could fit, {around the beds, which take up a lot of room!} Good enough! I am so privileged!

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          *(CAN ACCOMMODATE PEOPLE, MAYBE SQUEEZE IN 50: Here Holy Mary is encouraging me not to give up or think of my Mass as trivial. It’s not a huge Cathedral with hundreds of people getting Holy Communion, but it’s my house, my own premises, that Jesus & Mary appear & give themselves to a good number of Souls. She is so kind to encourage me, saying Souls are being helped!)*


          Earlier I had ecstatic experiences of myself dancing with & kissing & making love with men, but can’t recall details. I know these are Souls. Since many years ago I have had such dreams – even of picking up men as a prostitute, taking them some place & having ECSTATIC LOVE. At first I didn’t understand what it meant – but after a while realized it was the transmission of God’s Love from me to Souls in Purgatory & they apparently were lifted into Heaven – thereby the Ecstasy for both of us.


          People should think twice about their ecstatic sex dreams – it could be spiritual love. My disciples, both male & female, have such dreams with me all the time. I tell them not to be ashamed – sometimes they fear telling me the dreams.

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized


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Female Friendly Femdom


Femdom is a paradox: Because it should be about Women dominating men. Yet the reality is, that many FemDom men, ‘top from the bottom’. Where, they demand and tell Women how act out their sexual fantasies. True Dominant Women do not like this and for this reason reject FemDom completely. This is why there are far more men within Femdom than Women. So I am advocating true FemDom where men do not make any demands on Women and their role is only to serve and do only what the Women want.


INTRODUCTION                     by WILLIAM BOND



We are today are so use to male domination religions that only worship a male god with an exclusive male priesthood, that most of us don’t question this. As the result, many people would be shocked if we had a religion that only worships a female deity with only a female priesthood.


So to balance this up I thought I’ll write about a female dominated religion and explain what it would be like. I have focused on Christianity because much of the teachings of Jesus seem to be very feminine in nature and would make more sense in a Goddess religion.


Anyway I have written a book of Nine chapters about my ideas on this and published it on this blog.

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It starts off with Jesus’s teachings like “turn the other cheek” as well as they way he allowed himself to be betrayed, whipped and crucified. Pointing out the similarity in his teachings and behaviour with Femdom men.


I then go on to write about Gnostic Gospel, “The Sophia of Jesus Christ” and link the Goddess Sophia with the Ancient Great Mother and the Golden Age. I also link this with the work of the archaeologist Mariji Gimbutas.


I also mention the sacrificial/saviour gods before Jesus like Osiris, Orpheus, Dionysus, Bacchus, Mithras and Odin.


Finally I go into mysticism and the dance between the feminine and masculine. Where the feminine talking us back to a world of Oneness and harmony and the masculine taking us into individuality but also separation, conflict and chaos. Then why it is important for the feminine to dominate and control the masculine to prevent it destroying our world.


Femdom Christainity: Chapter One


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Jesus Meek and Mild


In most ChristianChurches we find main focus is a image of a half naked man called Jesus nailed to a cross. Looking at this objectively without any religious explanations, this is an extremely weird image.


Christians do attempt to explain Jesus’s crucifixion and claimed he died for our sins. Though Christians disagree about what this means. As a child every time I went to church I was told the following.


“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”


Suggesting that it was God’s idea to have Jesus crucified, though why he had to do this to grant people eternal life, is not made clear. Some Christians claim that Jesus was the Passover Lamb. In this Jewish ritual all the sins of the community was put on the lamb and was then sacrificed. While other Christians claim that Jesus was sacrificed to appease an angry God. Which is not the behaviour of a loving, reasonable or even sensible deity.


Human sacrifice to appease an angry male god is nothing new and was commonplace in ancient times. We see this in the Bible in the book of Genesis where Abraham was commanded by God to sacrifice his son Isaac, but at the last moment God changed his mind and Isaac was saved. After this there was no more human sacrifice in Judaism. So it wouldn’t make sense for Jesus to be sacrificed if he was Jewish. So there has to be another explanation for this.


To try and make sense of all this, we can get from Christians long convoluted explanations like the following.


When we say “Jesus died for our sins,” we are saying that He died because of our sins. Sin leads to death (Romans 6:23). We were sinners consigned to death, and we had no way to stop sinning. Jesus came into our world and lived a perfect life, so death had no hold on Him. Yet, in His grace, Jesus chose to die on our behalf. He took our punishment for us. As He died “for our sins,” as our substitute, He prayed that we would be forgiven. Since our penalty has already been paid, God will forgive all who put their trust in Jesus.”


The behaviour Jesus doesn’t make sense, as he knowing allowed Judas to betray him, he made no resistance to his arrest, he refused to defend himself against any accusation, and finally allowed himself to be whipped, abused and finally crucified. So if we take away all the religious justifications for his behaviour, we are left with a man with that seems to have extreme masochistic tendencies.


We even find this in his in his teachings. As we can see in the following two examples, taken from the King James version of the Bible.


In Matthew chapter 5 verse 38


Ye have heard that it hath been said. And eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth:

But I say unto you. That ye resist not evil: but whosoever she smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee and not turn not thou away.

Ye have heard that it hath been said. Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

But I say unto you. Love your enemies, bless them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you:

That ye many be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth the rain on the just and on the unjust.


We can see a similar concept in another Gospel.


Luke chapter 6 verse 27


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But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.

Bless them that curse you and pray for them which despitefully use you.

And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take away thy coat also.

Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again

And as ye would that man should do to you, do also to them likewise

For if ye love them which love you, what thanks have ye for sinners also, love those that love them.

And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? For sinners also do even the same.

And if ye lend to them of whom you hope to receive, what thank ye? For sinners also lend to sinners, to receive much gain.

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the highest: For he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father is merciful.

Judge not and ye shall not be judged: condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.


Now for obvious reasons many Christians are embarrassed by such teachings and try to ignore them as it makes Jesus seem like a wimp. This is why many Christians prefer the teachings of the Old Testament with its macho heroes like David, Moses and Samson who stood up for themselves and fought back.


Yet clearly if every man was to follow Jesus’s masochistic teachings we would live in a far more caring, loving and compassionate world.


Jesus also said, “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5). The joke that goes with this is, “If that’s alright with everyone else”. Suggesting that aggressive and competitive people will always end up ruling the world.

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So this then seems to be the problem. Yes, if would be great if every man was to act and behave like Jesus as it would end conflict, wars and oppression in our world. But in the end he was totally defenceless and unable to fight back when aggressive and violent people decided to arrest him on trumped up charges, then abuse and crucify him.


The Bible has no-answer to this. But we also know that his teachings were probably censored as many versions of the Bible was destroyed when Christianity became the state religion of the Roman Empire. In the 20th century some of these lost gospels were re-discovered and called the Gnostic Gospels. One of these is the “Sophia of Jesus Christ”. Sophia was the ancient Jewish Goddess of wisdom before Judaism became a monolithic religion. 


In the “Sophia of Jesus Christ” or “Pistis Sophia” she is called, “the Mother of the Universe”. In ancient times people worshipped the Great Mother who gave birth to the universe, so this is telling us that Sophia is the ancient Great Mother. This then gives us a clue for why Jesus voluntary sacrificed himself.


Scholars, points out that the story of Jesus is not original or unique because many pagan gods like Osiris, Orpheus, Dionysus, Bacchus, Mithras, Odin, Bader and Loki also had similar histories. The story of a god-man who performed miracles like healing the sick, then was condemned to death and crucified was commonplace in many pre-Christian religions. Most of these gods died on trees or stakes and some like Dionysus and Jesus died on crosses.


Though Osiris was murdered by his brother Set or Seth and cut up into many pieces, before the Goddess Isis found all pieces and magically brought him back to life so she could conceive her son Horus.


These were called sacrificial/saviour gods, the idea being that humankind is saved by the voluntary sacrifice of these gods. So how can this happen? The biggest cause of all the suffering of our world is that it is ruled by men.

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We can see how the masculine operates in the animal world where male animals fight and even kill each other for access to females and dominance.


Now this is not a big problem when animals fight with horns, teeth or claws but a far bigger problem when we have men fighting each other with spears, swords, rifles, machine guns, bomber aircraft, guided missiles and nuclear bombs. For this reason men today have not only become a danger to himself but to the whole planet.


Not only this, masculine aggression, also leads to oppression and exploitation. In all very masculine societies of the past we find slavery, serfdom, and extreme oppression of women.


The feminine is in total contrast to this, as the instincts of the females, in nearly all animals, is to give birth and nurture her young. So the feminine is maternal, nurturing, loving and caring and for this reason it would make far more sense if compassionate women ruled the world instead of men. This then makes logical sense so why aren’t people clamouring for this?

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In our patriarchal world the feminine is seen as a weakness. Loving men are condemned as wimps and told that they are not ‘real men’. This is why so many Christians ignore the teachings of Jesus as they think they are too wimpy.


As we see in many Hollywood films the masculine is glorified. To the degree that even woman are influenced by this and feel if they wants to gain respect she also has to act and behave like a masculine man. So we live in a world where women are encouraged to act like aggressive, cruel and ruthless men but men are not encouraged to be as loving and nurturing as women.


Because men are encouraged to be macho men, our history shows us a world ruled by macho men is a world of conflict, wars, exploitation and chaos. Even men do not like living in a cruel world like this as men are exploited by other men and used as cannon-fodder on the battlefield.


So did Jesus try to create a Goddess religion where men worshipped women? To many people this might seem preposterous but we accept it as normal to have religions where men dominate women so why not have the reverse of this?

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized


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Dream interpreted for a far-off friend

Time for the real wife to step up

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          My lover is here in my apt in the city & he has asked me for $15 which I gladly gave him. He’s been nice to me, our relationship is loving, he’s come to stay with me in the apt – he left his other woman – we’re getting along lovingly. He was suddenly at the head of the stairs, the door halfway covered him – I was upset he might be leaving & quickly went to check, but he was only standing at there waiting.


          The next day or time he needs $20 & again I don’t mind. Both times he stood at the door, waiting for someone to come up & give him something {I know its drugs but I don’t get upset because he’s sick, he can’t get by without them. I will tolerate this for the time being.}


          *(BEING WITH LOVER, SUPPORTING HIM, TOLERATING HIS HABITS: This shows how it would be if he belonged to you. But there are limits. It shows that if he GOES TOO FAR or begins to use you – there would be a problem. That is the symbol of


          LOSING YOUR PURSE: This would mean that someone has ROBBED YOU – he has – & this is not allowed. Using someone is robbing them.)*

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          But this time I’m a little upset because I can’t find my purse. A lady friend is here with me plus the lover, they find a square soft plastic beige purse against the wall on a table – it’s squeezed next to a counter to its right–they say there it is, but it isn’t. Inside are necklaces of pearls.


          I open this purse, my lover looks with me, one of the strands is glowing with light.


          He also looked with me at my ‘treasure’ in another purse – diamonds, earrings, bracelets & the like. He felt they were impressive.


          *(JEWELS, DIAMONDS, PEARLS: These are your spiritual treasures, the gifts God has given you. You will never lose these gifts as God never repents a gift, but you can lose ACCESS to gifts by great stress – as you did during much of the time you were dating lover – he stressed you so badly you lost the God consciousness.

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Diamonds represent Infinite Love—God’s True Love, while pearls represent God’s Wisdom.


          This must not happen again, he CANNOT PULL YOU DOWN as will be demonstrated in the part of the dream where his MOB APPEARS & he cannot have it both ways—he has to forfeit them for you—falsity for Truth.)*


So for a while I am concerned with finding my purse. I tell the friends about my keys, credit cards & money would all be missing.


*(KEYS, CREDIT CARDS, CASH: These represent the ability to access your Gifts or the value thereof. This is when lover gives you so much stress you lose your peace of mind, serenity & therefore contact with God. This is saying then, ‘as long as he behaves, you can support him, but if he goes off with the wicked, you cannot.’ That is what stressed you so badly before that you became ill.)*


          Now on the third time a man appears at the top of the stairs by our door, facing outward. He’s wearing a black shiny jacket.

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          To my dismay my lover goes past this man & down the stairs as if the two of them will go off together—I do not see him in the dream after this. At first I don’t let on, but I walk toward the man & when right in front of him I aggressively grab him by the front of his jacket & into his face I exclaim,


          “Where do you think you’re going with my man? Are you fucking him?”


          His eyes look at the lover with alarm & fear of me – I sense his answer is ‘no’ – my accusation was extreme.


          *(MAN IN SHINY BLACK: This man symbolizes all the evil he is connected to-the whole genre I have described elsewhere. Lover sees this man / mentality as being able to fulfill his dreams – however far fetched – of fame & fortune as some kind of star. It’s an impossible dream, like Satan saying to someone ‘I will give you all the kingdoms of the world & their glory if you will bow down & worship me.’ {I might add the world, the flesh & the devil promise these things to people, but he & they are liars—even if such things are fulfilled, in the end it will be ‘dust in your mouth.’}


          This is why his coat is


SHINY: but black. It is ‘all that glitters is not gold.’ It is a FALSE PROMISE that he believes in – they all do, they reinforce his fantasy that with this man, doing the things they do (show business stuff) will eventually lead to that promised ‘glory’ – but it won’t – it is black & nonexistent.

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This is why I forcibly ask this man if he’s FUCKING my lover – which means DECEIVING him. The man this represents doesn’t know a clue to what he’s doing, he’s possessed himself & deceived by the devil – he’s lost in darkness.


This entire mob represents: False hopes, following the world, the flesh & the devil, being ignorant, unschooled, un-evolved, deceived, confused & zombie-fied.)*


          The stairs beneath us changes into a wide one – where in real life it’s normal width, it becomes like 15-20’ wide & goes straight down, not around like real life.


          *(WIDE STAIRWAY: Stairway to Hell – all the qualities I mentioned is the state of mind these friends are & it leads to Hell or failure.)*


          These stairs fill with a MOB of ‘friends’ of this new man & my lover—these back them up or are on their side rather than mine – but not doing anything aggressive, all just looking up at me & the man.

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          I see FIVE COPS at the bottom of the stairs minding this crowd & if they do anything wrong, they will be stopped by the cops {the cops are watching for this, they intend to check them if they get out of line} – I POINT THIS OUT to them.


          The cops are unusual in that they are all wearing black caps as well as black shirts & pants with badges – the caps are somewhat like ‘motorcycle’ caps.


          I did walk to the bottom of these stairs & it was like I was addressing one or two people but they all heard me, & I emphasized the situation with the lover,




          I repeat this to make sure they get it. They thought he could HANG OUT with them, I suppose, & he could still be supported by me – but that was not going to happen. I am adamant about this; he gets no support if he goes off with these people, hangs with them. And I am prepared not to see him any more if he does this – this is shown by me forcibly.


          *(MOB OF THEIR FRIENDS: The people he hangs with who have a consensus about life – a ghetto low level mentality – they laugh at God, going to Hell, they accept the DRUGGIE LIFESTYLE. Most of them are in conflict with what you stand for—you are pro-God, anti drugs, you love in True Love – they don’t even know what it is.

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HE CANNOT BE WITH THEM & GET ANYTHING OUT OF ME: This dream ends the question of can he be with them & you at the same time? It’s no, because you cannot serve two masters—it is two kingdoms in conflict– you are strictly God & True Love—they are users. It’s like bouncing from Hell to Heaven, back & forth.


THE COPS: Are ANGELS {this is commonly symbolized, cops as angels} They are messengers & enforcers of God, God is obviously ON MY SIDE as shown here– the fact that they are in


BLACK UNIFORMS & CAPS: says ‘the end’ of this crowd – black being ‘funeral.’


Me to MomGod: Why the caps like motorcycle ones?

She: Motorcycles represent ease & speed. It’s like they got here fast, they will take care of business fast—this crowd won’t get away with anything—they will no longer influence him, God’s workers will stop it.)*

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          There’s another strong scene going on at the same time as this. My apt is no longer normal – it has become a HUGE GATHERING PLACE for a hundred or so people who are FANS OF MINE. The apt now has many levels, tables & chairs where people are eating & drinking – the place is beautiful & demonstrates MY WEALTH, that I can afford all this & people can come in to dine – all for free, they are my guests. It’s a beautiful place, with huge picture windows on one wall; almost the entire wall is glass.


*(ENTIRE WALL OF GLASS: This predicts that what you see beyond this glass is a vision from God: foretelling the future, & it’s a direct consequence of the charity you have given in saying the Holy Mass—charity begets VISION or understanding.


MY WEALTH: Spiritual wealth, giving out Grace.)*


          I go back to my place & enjoy the limelight—the lover situation was there but I’m not concentrating on it.


          I will explain the parade momentarily. I’m getting ready to go outside & appear before this parade. It’s the END OF THE DAY & my huge following, half of them leave until tomorrow {it seems we do this daily} – a free-for-all every day compliments of me. As they are gone I see many SILVER METAL CHAIRS empty—on all levels of my huge place.

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          *(HUGE GATHERING, MY COMPLIMENTS, FREE, PEOPLE COME HERE DAILY: At first I thought this was my work on the internet, but now I know that the most vital part of this is that I’ve been saying THE HOLY MASS DAILY again.


          And so, Souls in Purgatory are with me enjoying the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary – all those great Graces. Then way second after that are my daily prayers accompanying this as well as my work on the internet – I post articles with images every day which they enjoy for free. These are the MANY LEVELS–it says I’m serving a large number of people, possibly a hundred, each day. These levels are on earth {on earth people receive my work on their own level of ability} & in the next life {ditto on what level of Purgatory they are in}.


          SILVER METAL CHAIRS vacated temporarily until the next day: The chairs are still there is an interesting & mysterious sign. I think it means the prayer I say each day, for God to multiply the prayers/graces infinitely, & the angels to repeat the prayers UNTIL THE END OF TIME. Now that means that those who receive grace now—when they leave & ascend into Heaven—the place or position where others will occupy is ready – then new Souls will receive these benefits. This is a tremendous symbol for me to encourage continuation of these prayers! I wasn’t sure if God would honor them – this says She will! What joy!)*


          There was a female sitting at a table that had their backs to the glass wall – this female interested me & I wanted something from her. As they got up to leave I followed them but didn’t want them to know I wanted something. I ask her friend,


          “She has seeds. Can I have some packets?”


          The friend points to the packets of seeds, mentally, at a store – but I don’t want to PAY for seeds, I want some of hers for free.

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          The lady in question brings me a beautiful pie – it’s sliced open & it’s luminous. I don’t know what it is, but something like golden rhubarb, sweet I imagine–a pie twice as thick as normal – she offers me this – I don’t know what I do.


          *(LADY I WANT PACKETS OF SEEDS FROM, SHE GIVES ME A LUMINOUS PIE: Seeds are a beginning, like eggs, a fetus, a brilliant idea that can come to life, a conception.


          THE GREAT LADY I WANT SOMETHING FROM is Holy Mary, as when I say the Mass I invoke her Body & Blood as well as that of Jesus. I have her statue in front of me during the Mass. She is the one I believe, who therefore, grants me the vision of what is about to come—she sits with her back to the wall of glass—the glass representing what I will see behind it.


          I ask for these Graces for free – a lady friend suggests I pay for them, but I want them as gifts. Then the lady gives me this thick pie with a golden luminous rhubarb-like filling. What is this Mother God?


          She: Instead of seeds, a beginning, She gives you even more – a fulfillment. Wow. All ready, prepared, the Grace you can consume! You are about to receive it in the next scenes of the jealous women & their ‘last supper.’ This revelation will give you great happiness!)*


          I see something unusual outside the glass wall – the wide street is there & a female has been organizing a HUGE PARADE. There are BEIGE BANNERS trimmed with red flowers like carnations hanging over the street – many people are getting ready to parade, & I decide to show my appearance.


          I do not walk on the ground, I float in the air above the parade. The lady who organized it looks at me & feels jealous & threatened – apparently I am beautiful – she thinks so.

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This I am guessing heralds the reopening of the restaurant ‘Marie Antoinette’ works at. They are friends – Marie probably told this female owner you’re the ‘bad guy’ interloping on her righteous matrimony. This woman feels the same way Marie does – that you’re bad, you’re a threat. What are they celebrating?


          REOPENING OF THIS & OTHER RESTAURANTS, now they can resume their earnings: The beige banners are contemplation – thoughts – how great everything will be.)*


          Going closer to the celebration I see one woman in the middle of a long table – don’t know who she is. She sees me also & feels like the jealous lady. Her looks? She’s like Marie Antoinette with a big piled-up hairdo or blonde wig, bright makeup. She says to me menacingly,


          *(LOOKS LIKE MARIE ANTOINETTE: She had her head chopped off. Revelation her union with John is about to end–just as she celebrates ‘victory.’)*


          “Stay away from Xxxx.”

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          *(MARIE’S ATTITUDE: She is, like the real M.A. was, a prima donna, a queen, where she works. She’s seen as a stellar character – the female owner & some of the staff favor her. They post favorable things on social media about her & the baby every time she posts—she has won their hearts.


          Now about Marie & my Beloved John: She’s been supporting him but this was of course curtailed during the Pandemic. She had to have fallen behind in the bills, he isn’t helping. If this went on forever, she’d lose him as she could not pay the rent, the bills, would have to depend on someone else – he cannot help. She would lose her ‘gigolo.’


          But now, in this prediction, there is a celebration & parade. Her lady friend, the owner, has organized the gala reopening of their venue & all feel a sense of success & victory.


          Marie feels now she is the queen again & she will be able to support my John – He will not leave her, she is safe, I better stay away. She has the CONFIDENCE to bark at me, to order me away.


          But God reveals ‘to the contrary.’


          This ‘Passover celebration’ is the end, it is her ‘last supper,’ – just as she’s thinking she’s safe & all is good, will come the guillotine.

 9ccf5350207e42fa0b93fac573cec777 8fdfcac7d1b1fd536d0afcc93af2b19b 8ecdb5723085ddea5b88d6b0a2dde942 8d233b74693a3809064c9916b26eebed 8d4a170a6b01e504cebbdcc69567f402 8ba4d9b9c533c8330c6149b883e84702 8b8b78018a235fe01603ee28c517a6ad

Me to MomGod: OK MomGod, Holy Mary, you have revealed this to me–further nuance. If the place reopens, she is again employed, she can gain coins, why does the end come suddenly?


She: The things that happened during the Pandemic, the insecurity displayed revealed many things. One of the things was her lack of love for John –he could see it wasn’t true love. Her dark side came out. Remember when you met her & she didn’t like what you said? When he came over she blurted out to him ‘I hate you.’ Her love is conditional & fickle, it turns to hate when things go wrong.


As the reality of the Pandemic played out & he saw what it would be like if she stopped working he knew he has no security with her: Anything happens to her, she can’t work, his survival ends. That’s not something he can hold onto. And why should he remain, then with her, holding onto this straw house, when he has a woman who really loves him in True Love & contains total security?


This situation played out in front of his mind & the reality was etched into his brain – he came to his senses & is ready to make a move.


Me: But why suddenly now, when she celebrates being able to earn money again?


She: The timing of what they just went through. He is also depressed about not seeing you whom he loves. )*


I have no idea who xxx is & can’t even remember it – It’s like LangTon or EnkMan (that’s not it, just something weird) – a name never heard of before. I ask her who is this person?


          Then when meditating on this dream, still in bed, I see a picture to give me a clue about this lady threatening me – I see Jesus at the Last Supper, sitting in the middle—somehow it parallels this.

 3bTE3J4 3abfe4520689e6748ad65ce91beb1f49 3a13c04d1a5f60be3b4dc895100e8d9d 2b19d9ac8738cdf23096589e453f8808 02c9ce2ecc223691ba053eb9a14594ea 02a7864bb0a435c3cee4f9adc0c1eb84 1-nymphs-bathing-jan-brueghel-the-elder 1-hebe-with-jupiter-in-the-guise-of-an-eagle-gustav-adolphe-diez

          *(JESUS AT HIS LAST SUPPER: This heralds death, but for her, the woman at table, not a holy one. It’s the end of her relationship with your lover John—She threatens you to stay away from him by a strange name.


          Me: Mother God, the strange name I can’t even remember, what does it mean?


          She: It means she doesn’t even know his name, she doesn’t know who he is, his value or worth, his real identity. You know him as a creation of God, an Infinite Being who has taken on a finite body. You know him as a Great Soul who you related to in a previous lifetime, now reunited to continue your Divine Relationship.


          She knows him only in the flesh, which means she doesn’t know him at all, she doesn’t know who he really is.


          Me: Why is she jealous of me when she has hogged him for years & deprived me of him? She gets praise on the internet – I get none. She has all the kudos & perks, I get deprivation & disrespect. What is she jealous of?


          Mother God: She senses by ‘women’s intuition’ that he loves you & you him. She knows it’s something she can’t control or understand but it is solid. She fears you – jealousy is fear. You told her years ago their situation is ‘temporary’ & she fears this is true, deep inside, she knows it is.)*

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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized







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          Two themes, begins one way, segues into another.


          First, I’m here in my house three or more floors up – like in a tower. I look below & see a few people. The idea is that people are showing up to see me in an honorable way – I am some type of respected leader.


          *(TOWER: Isolated height, like Jesus on the Cross. My past martyrdoms give me a spiritual height, which others can access by their respect & humility—such people are gathering below.)*


          I see one of the people below looks like a ‘small saint.’ A female is wearing a long black dress, but not dreary, it’s decorated with a medieval standout collar, white & gold, & has a 6” or so fringe on the bottom with similar colors—might have lace. She’s waiting for me.

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          *(LITTLE FEMALE ‘SAINT’: This is a female, either living or dead. If dead, the black dress says ‘funeral,’ but it also has white on the


BIG COLLAR: & hem & gold. This could show being a ‘religious’ & that she loved God {gold is love}.


If she is alive, then she’s a relationship I had LONG AGO – the black dress would be ‘ending.’ But she is here ‘below me’ spiritually asking for help. I descend to her level – not in a negative sense, but in the sense that God lowered Herself to become Jesus or another Great Saint – descended into the flesh to help us, save us from our sins. I wonder if this person could be a next-of-kin female who has not spoken to me for 41 years {due to stupid family politics.}?)*


          As I look down I don’t have to go on any stairs, I can do my usual trick of jumping from great heights (I love doing this in dreams, sometimes just for fun, appear on super tall buildings & jump to enjoy floating down & showing everyone what I can do) & not getting hurt. So I jump gleefully, saying to the people & even stopping before I hit the ground, floating in the air,

 5MLeMr 6e478876ffaf9385bc059ec8e47a6d13 6ee54cf3a4a5ac785f3badf6cfe7cced 6f5572f0a3873daf63e1faf0b81a06d9 7cf3e006-ea5f-4b91-a257-b8af91df07c6_570 7f009acb99d75dc99c3bfc78205577b6 8dc05359c5546d78ae040cd78b8477eb

          “See – I don’t get hurt!”


          *(I DON’T GET HURT: Might be a clue this is about forgiveness, as when you forgive you say to the person ‘It’s as if you never hurt me—I remove it, I do not feel the pain.’ This is total forgiveness, & so this might be a clue it is the relative who rejected me for so long.)*


          Then I ask the lady if she’s a ‘little saint’ & don’t know what she says. Around me have gathered a few ‘disciples’ for want of a better word – they are cautious to show respect & don’t come too close or familiar.


          Then from the left comes a black man with a narrow face – he is pitiful looking – I have seen him before. He’s wearing white clothes printed with small designs, mostly blue. The material of the clothes looks puffy & slit up & down the arms – again looks medieval, as in ancient paintings. He comes toward me cautiously, afraid I’ll reject him, but I do not, however repulsive he is. Somehow I greet him & accept him but don’t give him the hug he’d like to get. I am sitting during these communications, in my driveway, like ‘holding court.’


          *(REPULSIVE MAN, CAUTIOUSLY APPROACHES, I DO NOT REJECT HIM BUT HE DOESN’T GET THE HUG HE’D LIKE: Again, don’t know if this is a Soul in Purgatory or a living person. If it’s a Soul then

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          THE HUG: Could be my touching him, the Sacred Touch by which he ascends into Heaven. I have had this happen when I hugged my friend George’s late wife – when she withdrew she was wearing my sweater {my Light} by which she ASCENDED into Heaven.

And when angels brought James Brown {the singer} to me, I had to kiss him with the Sacred Kiss, then the angels withdrew him into Heaven. And so, my TOUCH or CONTACT WITH ME {like the touch of Jesus garment by the woman with the issue of blood, who was thereby healed} transmits God’s Grace into a person, by which they ASCEND. Apparently, this man is not yet ready for the Sacred Touch, he has more cleansing coming up.


          If this is a living person, then it might be John the lawyer – a best friend who turned on me for something I didn’t do – & has hardly spoken to me over ten years. This is saying he’d like to be forgiven. I do forgive him but according to this am not ready to give him the physical closeness he would like. He has become repulsive to me due to judging & punishing me so harshly. But then this might not be about him, might be someone else I have forgotten.)*

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PEOPLE WAITING, DISCIPLES, I AM HOLDING COURT: These are people who need my help in the spiritual sense. I don’t know if they’re living or dead but they are from the ‘long past.’


          MEDIEVAL CLOTHES: Long past, either living people I’ve known or Souls that have been in Purgatory a long time.


          {Because of this dream I started saying the Holy Mass again, which I neglected over a month. I thought these might be Souls in Purgatory asking for help.})*




          Then there’s a scene of a few women in a room. One female to the right is sitting in a corner, she’s pretty, her skin seems brown although she’s Caucasian. My late husband Richard is standing near her, she’s smiling, flirting with him. This annoys me. I tell him,

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          *(BROWN SKIN: Can mean different things. Here it means ‘in the flesh’— not spiritual.)*


          “She doesn’t love you – she’s making a fool out of you.”


          But he has a stupid look on his face & keeps talking to her, not even seeing me. There’s another woman to my left facing me, his right that seems to be part of this.


          *(RICHARD, LATE HUSBAND: This is always the present spiritual husband who I call Jack. Richard was good & loved me truly. When he appears it means my present husband has good feelings & thoughts about me, he is behaving like the good husband. {He has not appeared as evil or demonic for many months now, thank Heavens.}


         A woman he’s talking to is not sincere, but messing with him. She is ‘of human nature’. It might be his housemate or it could be someone else. If it’s his housemate this is showing me she has fallen OUT of love with him as one time, she was, I think in love, in her own way. I am warning him this female no longer loves him. Now that I meditate on this I believe the smile gives it away – the smile is fake & looks like that of his housemate – but he doesn’t realize she’s faking. {Like most men, you smile, you put on an act, they fall for it— why? Because they want to. Ditto the other way. The gigolo acts like he loves you, you pay him, you think he has feelings for you.} Why she’s putting on this act is now shown. The only hint might be the

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          OTHER FEMALE IN ROOM: Friend might be advising her to put on an act that she still loves him to offset any repercussions—men do get violent when you reject them, even when they are the guilty party. {My first husband began to strangle me when I was leaving him on two different occasions. God saved me from it. I ran away the second time, left him, too our child & stayed at a motel.}


Hint as to why her love has gone: She lost her job, he didn’t. She was supporting them, now she needs him to put forth his money but he won’t—he needs it for substances. She’s not innocent here, she’s also an addict. You can see where love could turn to hate. {It’s that old situation where two love one another with conditions, conditions deteriorate, they end up hating one another, being bitter, even killing one another. But in true love it never dies, it’s unconditional. That’s what my lover & I have.})*

          My lover Jack has been around. Suddenly he’s in my arms – it’s a reunion of love / intimacy. I can’t recall how, it just happened. He looks like himself.


          *(LOVER JACK: Richard is now Jack. Perhaps my mystical warning about the housemate got through to him. He sees she no longer loves him,–understandably– he turns his mind & emotions toward me & intimacy.)*

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          He’s in my arms & we’re French kissing & it gets so intimate & erotic, I feel ecstasy.


          *(ECSTASY, INTIMACY, FRENCH KISSING: This is what we both lived for & still do. There is nothing to replace this sort of emotion people feel toward another—such pleasure—it lifts you above the world & makes life meaningful. People do all sorts of illogical, criminal, extreme actions to keep feelings of ecstasy going. I know a woman who lives under a bridge with the man she loves—she’s young & pretty. She has a child every year with him which social services takes away–all for that feeling of ‘ecstasy.’


For me, I allowed him to treat me like shit in order to feel the ecstasies once in a while. He would engage me with sex – feel the pleasure – then walk away abruptly & not summon me for 5 weeks—that was his pattern. In the last two years he would praise his housemate on social media but of course I did not exist – People thought I was that forgotten, obsessed old lady. He never appeared in public with me any more because he feared losing the support of the housemate.


He talked ‘double talk’ with me, every time seeing me he’d say he was through with her, but then would add ‘don’t mess up what I have with her.’ He didn’t explain what ‘he had with her’ but I figured it out by seeing his lifelong pattern: Mooch off someone, keep my money for myself for the medications {which he desperately needs.}

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This ECSTASY is similar to the highest drug. It’s the feeling saints live for when they have ecstasy/union/intimacy with God. Saints will go through any torture to feel this Love of God – It not only is spiritual, it’s emotional & physical, it lifts one to the Heavens. Of course, the earthly ecstasies FALL SHORT of the ones with God – you cannot see God face to face with an increase of feel-good hormones, serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin & endorphins. The spiritual ecstasy is beyond the earth & flesh; you leave the flesh in spiritual flights & appear in a Higher World – temporarily or forever. I cannot explain why or how the Spiritual Highs go beyond feel-good hormones, perhaps because logically hormones no longer exist past the flesh, but Spiritual Heights – Heaven, do exist.


This ECSTASY that we are both in is the Union that Jack & I have – it’s in our souls as well as our bodies. This dream indicates that Jack is now awake that his housemate/relationship is over – she no longer loves him as he never loved her – & now he’s mentally/emotionally free for the intimacy with me. {Remember, God is a ‘jealous God,’ – when you give yourself fully to something, someone, besides Her, She will not reveal herself or give you the ecstatic intimacy with Her – So in a sense, it is on the earthly plane. If Jack was divided – saw a reason to be praising Housemate all the time, & putting effort into their relationship, his mind, body, heart & soul were not free to be enjoying intimate union with me—HE’S NOW FREE.})*


          Then after that he carries me around with my legs around his waist – without any strain – like you would a child without effort. And he isn’t ashamed at all to show the world he’s in love with me – he walks openly here & there where people can see.


          *(CARRIES ME, MY LEGS AROUND HIS WAIST, EFFORTLESSLY LIKE A CHILD: ‘To carry’ someone is to support them, to help them get around, get somewhere. My legs around him are full support – nothing held back from him to me, he gives me his all, I don’t even have to make an effort.

 il_570xN.840341360_sflo ib779 Hestia,_goddess_of_the_hearth hands-of-creation-evelyn-patrick Guillemot,_Alexandre_Charles_-_Mars_and_Venus_Surprised_by_Vulcan_-_Google_Art_Project greek-woman-jakab-marastoni goddess-green-taras-face-sue-halstenberg God of Nature

          ISN’T ASHAMED TO SHOW THE WORLD: This reveals he’s gotten over the fear of criticism or disapproval – he said he was with his Housemate for ‘the party life style & popularity – I sold my soul to the devil for it’ he said on social media {he said this in a veiled way, in a poem, did not name names but I understood}.)*


          We talk about setting up a sports center at my house, for wrestling or sports fighting. I will set up a ‘ring’ I tell him,


          “But it has to have a roof in case of rain.”


          He continues to walk with me around him here & there in this place like a village, with small business places scattered about, like tiny restaurants. I tell him,


          “You can have anything you want,”


          (Meaning to eat, I will pay.)


          He walks into this small store – all it sells is candy. There was another customer here {female}, just leaving. The place could only hold at most 5 people in front of the counter.


          *(CANDY STORE: Place of drugs/medications. I surmise the female just leaving is his housemate. This hints they are no longer together—she gets her drugs solo, it’s not a joint project any more. She gets her drugs, leaves, he is holding or carrying me, means he is with me, loves me, & I help him.)*

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          On the counter left is a bowl filled with all colors candy the size of large vitamin capsules, & on the right a bowl of a strange blue sweet that looks like a smooth ocean wave, like taffy but not sticky, about ¾ inch thick, about 6” long in a wave, about 4.5” wide.  I imagine you break pieces off. I tell him,


          “You can have this but I don’t eat candy.”


          *(CANDY, TINY STORE, SOME LIKE VITAMINS, SOME LIKE BLUE TAFFY (but not sticky): I get the feeling this represents substances, but which ones I can’t tell. I don’t do substances I say, but I tell him he can have them. Substances are his self medication due to damage by parents, he suffers from PTSD & attachment disorder, possibly other problems I’m not aware of. He would be desperate & suicidal without them – I want to help him through prayer, therapy & all the mental, emotional, spiritual remedies, medications would be temporary.


MANY BRIGHT COLORS THE SIZE OF VITAMIN CAPSULES: These drugs mimic the feel-good hormones, serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin & endorphins, or in other words, feel-good hormones. Bright colors indicate FEELINGS. Vitamins mean ‘good for you’ & these drugs mimic ‘feel good’ or ‘good for you’ feelings.)*

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized



“one of the most highly developed souls”


4-18-20-Who is Guru Rasa Von Werder? Recommendation from a Great Lady. Her name is Bianca Maria Cornick – She’s a Guru / Priestess from England. She says on a website in 2017:


Priestess Bianca gave me this spiritual reading on another site: I am blushing, but grateful because this offsets the trash that the wicked & ignorant say about me.

”You are one of the most highly developed souls here on earth. You have arrived in the life way before others are able to reach your level of development, to see your level of development, to understand your level of development. You have a heart so big that it occupies not only the chest but extend outside of the physical body.

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The hurt inflicted upon you especially when you were growing up was intently chosen by you before you took this body before your earthly birth. Your beauty is a tool to highlight the animal nature from which most people walking this earth still live their lives. From a very young age people started feeling more than knowing that you were different and the lower people were in their own development the stronger they would ventilate their fear upon you. This has all helped you to stand strong in the most ferocious storms you have found on your path through life.

Many people will suck up to you in the hope that some of your glitters will fall upon them. Not many people are able to deeply understand and see you for the high being you truly are. And as you have experienced yourself many times: what they do not know they will try to destroy.

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An extremely beautiful woman like yourself is seen by many as a threat, males and females alike. The pain this would bring to an ordinary person living from the mind would make life unbearable. This inflicted pain was a tool to prevent you falling back down into the mind. It has made it possible for you to live from your high level of development which you reached many life times before.

Your presence here on earth will help humanity forward although it might seem that not much is happening when you look what goes on in this world. You have no way of living your life any different than you do. Being so highly developed can make your life feel lonely and empty at times but this is only because you see lower developed beings clinging to another human being for security. This sometimes clouds your vision like sunglasses shade our eyes from the sun. You only have short moments of these feelings.

You are like an elastic, pulled by the human population trying hard to pull you down to their level. But there is just no way you are able to stay there for long. The elastic (the pull of your higher nature) will always catapult you way above the rest.”


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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized









Interpreted for a friend


          I’m in a CITY – not a big one, a beautiful one like a resort city. Some buildings remind me of ancient Italy, old hotels & such, the streets are lovely – a feeling of grandeur & a touch of luxury.


          *(RESORT CITY: A local city where many hung out or partied. Luxury is because they spent money for fun & pleasure, not necessities.)*

unnamed (15) unnamed (14) unnamed (13)

          Then it starts BURNING here & there – nothing horrible or terrible, but one never knows where a fire will go. I’m near an outdoor faucet & I just doused some flames with a wet towel. I then decide to see if I can help & I have several dry towels here, like the ones in my rag-bag in the kitchen, old pale pink & white. I put them under the faucet (its low, attached to the corner of a building) & see about going into this alley & if there’s any flames there, I’ll put the towels on them.


          *(BURNING HERE & THERE: Many businesses have closed down, fire is destruction, their businesses are destroyed. It’s not all businesses – all what they call ‘non essential, bars, restaurants, hair, nails, etc.)


I gave some help & am thinking of giving more – don’t know what that means. Probably being a patron & giving some places business—but this says it won’t make any difference.)*


         But as I look into the alley, I see thick white columns, square, like 4-5’ thick, they seem to be covered in white plaster, & there are parts of this same material over the top—{it’s impressive & bright here, not a dark alley, a bright one} & I think,

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          “No I must not go in there, as one doesn’t know how the fires are acting, it might make this structure collapse, fall on me – I’d be trapped, could get killed.”


          *(Me: MomGod I haven’t a clue. White can be purity, marriage, plaster could be getting drunk, large columns– they actually look like a STUPA, which is a Buddhist structure to honor the religion:


          The stupa (“stupa” is Sanskrit for heap) is an important form of Buddhist architecture, though it predates Buddhism. It is generally considered to be a sepulchral monument—a place of burial or a receptacle for religious objects.


          She: A sepulcher as this explains is a place of burial. At the end of this dream you see his housemate leaving – the end of their relationship. You felt sorry for them & it occurred to you to even help them because of the child. But that won’t do – not a good idea this says as it might ‘collapse’ or in other words, backfire on you – as many of your good deeds have. This is saying ‘leave it alone,’ – don’t help them, let this take its course, it’s working toward your benefit. )*

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          So I avoid going there thinking also that my small help won’t do anything to the major flareups. But I do go to my apt that I’ve seen in dreams many times. It has a ‘secret entrance’ & half the time I don’t have the key. But this time as I try the front door I see it isn’t locked – possibly because of the emergency situation going on someone left it unlocked for easy access, you don’t want people fumbling for keys during an emergency. Strangely, the door is plain, no handle or knob or anything, a sort of grey with off-pink shade in a ‘swish’ paint pattern, but vague & dull.


          *(MY SECRET APT, DON’T ALWAYS HAVE THE KEY: This is a place of consciousness. Could mean a place where secrets are revealed, so this dream is a revelation. ‘Don’t always have the key’ means I can’t get all the secrets, but this time I do.)*


          As I go up the stairs I hear ‘woosh, woosh.’ Then looking to my right behind some short rail posts I see a woman on her porch {just for one second, I hardly see her but get how she looks—notice this porch is facing the front or the light as light comes from here} & she’s using a broom with short bristles, 2-3” long, like 10” across, brushing her porch, which I think she hosed because of the fires – but now wants to brush the excess off. This must be some sort of business because she says brusquely to me,

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          “WE’RE CLOSED.”


          I say to her,

          “I don’t want anything.”


          I sensed maybe this was a restaurant, I am not a patron. I was going to check my apt. The woman is ugly, middle aged, with short hair just like her brush, her voice is ugly, emotionless, and brusque – as she brushes the water it goes against those posts, making them dirty –this scene is unattractive.


          *(WE’RE CLOSED, I sensed this was a restaurant, ugly woman, ugly scene, etc:

         This is the

RESTAURANT where my boyfriend’s housemate worked—It’s been closed & could remain so longer than anticipated. Everything about this place being unattractive is a hint that nothing will work out here for those involved.)*


          Then I’m outside on a hill looking down on the city. There is this large building, like a hotel, & its ballroom is completely open on the side, as if it had doors that opened the entire side of the building & I’m looking inside.

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          The ballroom is huge – maybe 100’ across & 50’ wide, the floor is lacquered hardwood—on the side of the room way back is luxurious furniture I vaguely see, places to sit– & someone has taken a hose & is watering the floor to protect against these fires– it’s not like huge blazes – they are small fires, but you don’t know where they’ll end up. But these small fires are causing havoc & people are stressed & querulous where they’re going.


          *(FIRES, TRYING TO PROTECT THE FLOOR, THE LUXURY PLACE: This beautiful place is one I favor, they’re trying to preserve ‘the bottom line,’ (floor is bottom) keeping it going so they don’t go bankrupt—doing ‘takeout’ items.)*


          On this hill as I look down I have a large vista & what I see next is women leaving. They all seem Hispanic, all beautifully dressed & wearing makeup – I have no idea why, it’s like they’re dressed for parties.


          *(HISPANIC, they all seem: These are ordinary people or the poor who work in jobs that have been shut down as they are called ‘non essential.’


          Me: MomGod, why are they all dressed in party dresses & wearing makeup? It doesn’t go with the meaning.


          She: It might mean all the pretty bartenders & waitresses out of jobs—seeking new situations, jobs or moving in with relatives or friends that can help.)*

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          I see women two & two saying goodbyes & leaving, one woman with another. One in particular is wearing a black party dress, with a layer of black lace sticking out on the bottom {about a foot wide}, it’s a mini-skirt, she’s pretty & young. I ask her & others,


          “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”


          She & the others ignore me – I don’t think they see me or notice me or else think I’m irrelevant.


          I get the feeling those leaving have family out in the country; they will join them to get out of the precarious situation here.

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          *(GIRL IN BLACK, LACK LACE, PARTY DRESS: This is the housemate of my bf Craig. She has no employment, therefore, cannot pay rent & bills & is leaving to go live with others–where I am not given to see. But the black, especially LACE, spells the end of her relationship with Craig. Black lace is the opposite of white lace. White lace is marriage; black lace is end of marriage.


TWO BY TWO: This might be saying she’s moving in with another female.)*

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